General Forum
God and the man
A man visits God and says "God, do you mind if I ask you a
few questions?" God says "No, ask me anything at all."
So the man says "God, you've been around for a very long time,
so, for you, how long is a thousand years?"
God replies "For me, a thousand years is only five minutes."
The man then says "That's interesting God. And, for you,
how much is a million dollars?"
God replies "For me, a million dollars is only five cents."
The man says "Really? Well then God, could you lend me
five cents please?"
God looks at the man, smiles, and says "Of course my son.
Just wait five minutes!"
few questions?" God says "No, ask me anything at all."
So the man says "God, you've been around for a very long time,
so, for you, how long is a thousand years?"
God replies "For me, a thousand years is only five minutes."
The man then says "That's interesting God. And, for you,
how much is a million dollars?"
God replies "For me, a million dollars is only five cents."
The man says "Really? Well then God, could you lend me
five cents please?"
God looks at the man, smiles, and says "Of course my son.
Just wait five minutes!"
Yo mama
Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
Yo mama so poor she drives a peanut.
Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
Yo mama so poor she drives a peanut.
Yo mama so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning.
RE: Yo mama
That's part of the humor, I think. No one wants their mom to be called poor, fat, or stupid, but cracking insults that are just too stupid or goofy to be taken seriously makes it funny. The funnier ones don't even make much sense at all - "...she drives a peanut", "when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush" - C'mon, that's hilarious! :D
soup
In a restaurant, a man ordered soup but, as soon as it arrived, he had to go to the bathroom. To make sure that nobody touched his soup while he is away, he wrote on a napkin: "I SPIT IN THE SOUP".
When he returned, he found another message on napkin: "ME, TOO".
When he returned, he found another message on napkin: "ME, TOO".
diarrhea :D
A man at the doctors:
-Doctor, I have diarrhea and it wont go away!
-Did you try using a lemon?
-Yes I did, but when I removed it, it started again!
-Doctor, I have diarrhea and it wont go away!
-Did you try using a lemon?
-Yes I did, but when I removed it, it started again!
group sex
Two friends:
- Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come?
- Of course! How many people are coming?
- Three, if you bring your girlfriend.
- Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come?
- Of course! How many people are coming?
- Three, if you bring your girlfriend.
as my father once told me...
... if it flies, floats or fucks - rent it. don't buy it or get emotionally attached to it. words to live by happily. :)
Have really become this cynical!!!
Some of you may know me, but alot of you members will not. I have been here for nearly 10 months now on CC. I have met some great people over that time. Some honest, some not so honest. Just like real life really. But after a while I have become less and less of a believer with what I am told.
When I first came here. I used to think that those who said that you are a fool for falling for a host were a horrible old misery who loved to destroy other people's happiness But over time it has become apparent to me that they were just people who had been here for somtime and come to realise that this is just work for a host, and to believe that you (meaning I) could mean anything to them was just a fantasy. Just what this site is, a fantasy.
Maybe I am having a bad day, and I'm letting off steam. So don't shoot me down just yet :p
But maybe this feeling will pass and my trust will recover.
Either way it's one hell of exspensive fantasy :p
When I first came here. I used to think that those who said that you are a fool for falling for a host were a horrible old misery who loved to destroy other people's happiness But over time it has become apparent to me that they were just people who had been here for somtime and come to realise that this is just work for a host, and to believe that you (meaning I) could mean anything to them was just a fantasy. Just what this site is, a fantasy.
Maybe I am having a bad day, and I'm letting off steam. So don't shoot me down just yet :p
But maybe this feeling will pass and my trust will recover.
Either way it's one hell of exspensive fantasy :p
RE: Have really become this cynical!!!
I think if your the same age as the hosts their may be a possibility of a real friendship / romance but when your an old geezer like me you take everything they say with a pinch of salt (well in my case a very large dose of salt).
RE: Have really become this cynical!!!
just like real life - you make and lose friends.
but i have friends on here that i have met in real for sex and just as friends too.
Yes there are women on here that are your friends as long as you pay for there time ! But they are the CC whores.. and you should pity them as they are desperate to do that !!
But not all of the women here are like that. Alot just want harmless fun and international friends in there day to day boring life.
I met one girl from Ukraine - on video she was superb - did all you wanted and more. Now i meet her in real and she is totally different character. She is nice - a proper girl with good family and values to match, I even met her fella and she has met my family too.
Basically after the pussy, anal playing and the enevitable time when a woman leaves CC- and you are still friends ! Then you realise you made a good friend that you enjoy holidaying to see - like i do
It's cool
but i have friends on here that i have met in real for sex and just as friends too.
Yes there are women on here that are your friends as long as you pay for there time ! But they are the CC whores.. and you should pity them as they are desperate to do that !!
But not all of the women here are like that. Alot just want harmless fun and international friends in there day to day boring life.
I met one girl from Ukraine - on video she was superb - did all you wanted and more. Now i meet her in real and she is totally different character. She is nice - a proper girl with good family and values to match, I even met her fella and she has met my family too.
Basically after the pussy, anal playing and the enevitable time when a woman leaves CC- and you are still friends ! Then you realise you made a good friend that you enjoy holidaying to see - like i do
It's cool
RE: Have really become this cynical!!!
I'm guessing all this is coming from the fact that was a host on here i fell for very deeply in october last year. Now all was going well up until about February, then all of a sudden, bang she was gone, no word or warning, just vanished. Although i was not very happy. I thought, Ok your one of the dishonest hosts from here. I'll live and learn from this, although it was pretty hard. Anyway about 2 -3 months ago a friend of hers came back onto CC. So to get some kind of closure I started to ask questions about where they had gone. Even though I was angry that she had gone without a word, I still missed her :( I was told lots of things about she had gone. She even reappeared on CC one night in June and we got chatting, it was like we had never stopped chatting. But then again bang gone again :( She lives in St.Petersburg, says there are no Internet Cafes near her, she hasn't got a phone. Both I find very difficult to believe.
I guess now I have written this all down it makes sense, I was had :(
But the last straw is being told I haven't kept my promise of coming to see her in St.Petersburg. Now is it me or am I being stupid that to go to St.Petersburg on my own on the off chance I might bump into her, just alittle bit crazy.
I'm ok now, I think it's time to put this one to rest and stop chasing the fantasy, if she want's me she knows how to contact me.
So D******** and E******, thx for your little game.
Thx to those that have read my little moan. It sure feels good now I have got it off my chest :)
I guess now I have written this all down it makes sense, I was had :(
But the last straw is being told I haven't kept my promise of coming to see her in St.Petersburg. Now is it me or am I being stupid that to go to St.Petersburg on my own on the off chance I might bump into her, just alittle bit crazy.
I'm ok now, I think it's time to put this one to rest and stop chasing the fantasy, if she want's me she knows how to contact me.
So D******** and E******, thx for your little game.
Thx to those that have read my little moan. It sure feels good now I have got it off my chest :)
RE: evening people
No you got me with that I don't know what sad thing you are this time anonymous.
SAS, Para's & Coppers Survival Weekend
The SAS, the Parachute Regiment and the Police decide to go on a survival weekend together to see who comes out on top. After some basic exercises the trainer tells them that their next objective is to go down into the woods and catch a rabbit, returning with it ready to skin and cook. Night falls.
First up - the SAS. They don infrared goggles, drop to the ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5 minutes, followed by the unmistakable muffled "phut-phut" of their trademark silenced "double-tap". They emerge with a large rabbit shot cleanly between the eyes. "Excellent!" remarks the trainer.
Next up - the Para's. They finish their cans of lager, smear themselves with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into the woods, screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the woods ring with the sound of rifle and machine-gun fire, hand grenades, mortar bombs and blood curdling war cries. Eventually they emerge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit. "A bit messy, but you achieved the aim; well done", says the trainer.
Lastly, in go the coppers, walking slowly, hands behind backs whistling Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, the silence is only broken by the occasional crackle of a walkie-talkie "Sierra Lima Whisky Tango Fanta One, suspect headed straight for you..." etc. After what seems an eternity, they emerge escorting a squirrel in handcuffs. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" asks the incredulous trainer, "Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit like I asked you five hours ago!". So back they go.
Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours, night drags on and turns to day. The next morning, the trainer and the other teams are awakened by the police, holding the handcuffed squirrel, now covered in bruises, one eye nearly shut. "Are you taking the p*ss!!??" asks the now seriously irate trainer. The police team leader nudges the squirrel, who squeaks: "Alright, alright, I'm a f*ckin' rabbit!"
First up - the SAS. They don infrared goggles, drop to the ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5 minutes, followed by the unmistakable muffled "phut-phut" of their trademark silenced "double-tap". They emerge with a large rabbit shot cleanly between the eyes. "Excellent!" remarks the trainer.
Next up - the Para's. They finish their cans of lager, smear themselves with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into the woods, screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the woods ring with the sound of rifle and machine-gun fire, hand grenades, mortar bombs and blood curdling war cries. Eventually they emerge, carrying the charred remains of a rabbit. "A bit messy, but you achieved the aim; well done", says the trainer.
Lastly, in go the coppers, walking slowly, hands behind backs whistling Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, the silence is only broken by the occasional crackle of a walkie-talkie "Sierra Lima Whisky Tango Fanta One, suspect headed straight for you..." etc. After what seems an eternity, they emerge escorting a squirrel in handcuffs. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" asks the incredulous trainer, "Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit like I asked you five hours ago!". So back they go.
Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours, night drags on and turns to day. The next morning, the trainer and the other teams are awakened by the police, holding the handcuffed squirrel, now covered in bruises, one eye nearly shut. "Are you taking the p*ss!!??" asks the now seriously irate trainer. The police team leader nudges the squirrel, who squeaks: "Alright, alright, I'm a f*ckin' rabbit!"
What happened to MysticAmour
I am sometimes suprised how some woman transform from one day to the next. Look at MysticAmour she changed so much :) Does anybody know what happened to her. She used to have more photos here, they are gone and now she is replaced...did she stop working?
Girls... Whats the pocking lips on most of your archives pics?
Whats the deal with it? I don't get it. Some of you look ridiculous. Whats wrong with a nice old smile?
RE: Girls... Whats the pocking lips on most of your archives pics?
I think pocking means pouting. In other words, making the lips appear larger. And I agree that it does not look good. I know a very beautiful host who almost always pouts her lips in pics. I am not sure if she is doing it intentionally or has unwisely had her lips pumped. And yes, I am too cheap to go to video to see. She is out of my price range!
Crying old man:-))
An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying. "Well," says the old man, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast and then we make love. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make love. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we make love." The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!" So the old man says, "I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I live!"
HOSTS - The Most Romantic CC Moment ??
Hosts what is your most Romantic moments with a viewer and why ? (give details !)
Real Squirters?
would like to see a real squirter show and not some of the phonies
on CC. any suggestions would be appreciated.
on CC. any suggestions would be appreciated.
Girls with toys in Little Shy category
I'm not long on this site and i don't understand the categories why is it that there are girls in Little Shy who will use toys and everything surely they should be in Instant Action? What are the categories for if u can get everything in Little Shy? and if they do that in Little Shy what do they do in instant that is different? Hope u guys can help out a confused newbie, thanks.
RE: Girls with toys in Little Shy category
no he's right. the categories are confusing as is the mad variation in prices and especially as you can also get most what of you want in non adult anyway only dearer. cc need to sort it out.
RE: Girls with toys in Little Shy category
May be because the minimum price is 1,69 in Instant.
Hosts in Little Shy are most a little cheaper
Hosts in Little Shy are most a little cheaper
RE: Girls with toys in Little Shy category
What's so confusing?
Find the hosts u like at the price u are willing to pay. Who cares what category they may be in?
Find the hosts u like at the price u are willing to pay. Who cares what category they may be in?
RE: Girls with toys in Little Shy category
Instant Action is, er, for instant action.
A Little Shy is for those that are, er, a liitle shy. Now in my reconning A Little Shy does not preclude toys but that the girl may need a little (or a lot) of coaxing.
Of course some girls will go into A Little Shy with the intention of suing toys but is a marketing ploy. Chrge a lower proce get more customers and get more money. Maybe it even works for some.
A Little Shy is for those that are, er, a liitle shy. Now in my reconning A Little Shy does not preclude toys but that the girl may need a little (or a lot) of coaxing.
Of course some girls will go into A Little Shy with the intention of suing toys but is a marketing ploy. Chrge a lower proce get more customers and get more money. Maybe it even works for some.
RE: Girls with toys in Little Shy category
My advice stop complaining. The only thing they do in instant action is drain your credit card quicker :D
RE: Girls with toys in Little Shy category
DO away with the rules. Every host and member for themselves >:)
Baby polar bear :-))
A father polar bear and a baby polar bear were walking across the ice when the baby polar bear said to his dad "Dad, am I part panda bear?" "No", replied his dad. "Well then, am I part brown bear?" Again his dad said no. A short time later the baby bear asked again, "Dad, maybe I'm part koala bear?" The father getting annoyed said, "look son, I'm a polar bear, your mums a polar bear. Why on earth do you keep asking for?!" "Because," the baby bear said,"I'm freezing!!".
for the played
i thought you were going for good and that i was going to lose you. turns out you were never mine to lose. turns out the things i thought were true were not, the things i held dear to my chest were never mine to hold. did you laugh about it? do you laugh about it still? were your friends in on it too? a vicious game and you played me good. how many others did you play? how many others feel this way? i would have died had you asked and now that part of me has, i wonder if you will like the pieces of me that are left. will you be scared by them? will you hide from them? or will you try to lie your way out of this mess? i wonder if anything you ever said was true, but mark my words one way, one day i will know the truth, and i hope for all our sakes it is a good truth and not the bad one i fear in my head
RE: for the played
Maybe we all feel that way abit but than again didnt you lie too.
Watch out for those asians girls hehe, but you still have to love them you girls can figuar out who I am cant you girls. Have to keep a senses of humor or you will always feel like a victim
Watch out for those asians girls hehe, but you still have to love them you girls can figuar out who I am cant you girls. Have to keep a senses of humor or you will always feel like a victim
RE: for the played
there is a girl who i really like on this site. does what u say mean that someone like myself (honest but gullible) could also be played for a fool? how are we to know?
RE: for the played
You begin by not getting too deep before you actually meet her. For some it is the opportunity for a scam to get some easy money.
For some of the younger, inexperienced girls a virtual-love doesn't even register as real. It's like playing a video game. Sometimes when they know you have an airline ticket and a hotel reservation reality hits them and they get scared and stop answering your e-mails.
My advise is to go in order to see the country and visit a friend. If a romance develops then it's just cream in the coffee.
For some of the younger, inexperienced girls a virtual-love doesn't even register as real. It's like playing a video game. Sometimes when they know you have an airline ticket and a hotel reservation reality hits them and they get scared and stop answering your e-mails.
My advise is to go in order to see the country and visit a friend. If a romance develops then it's just cream in the coffee.
RE: for the played
yeah i know how you feel. been searching for the truth now for a long time. word of advice, if you can go on without the truth, then do it, but if you cant .... believe me i understand very very well.
You are not the only one that stuff like this has happened to, there are some very very good "players" around. I wish you luck in your search, but dont expect any honest answers from the "source". The best youll get is half truths.
Good luck
You are not the only one that stuff like this has happened to, there are some very very good "players" around. I wish you luck in your search, but dont expect any honest answers from the "source". The best youll get is half truths.
Good luck
3 leaf clover
can any girls here make a 3 leaf clover with their tongues or do any other tongue tricks?
RE: Question to viewers about phone sex
VoIP is free from several vendors i.e. skype, yahoo, even cc so why would I pay anything????
RE: To confused
could i chat with you please regarding skype i have yahoo messenger with communicater
will skype interfier with my communictor or vice versa if you can tell me please, if you have yahoo may be you could let me know your id by cc mail thanks or just reply please
will skype interfier with my communictor or vice versa if you can tell me please, if you have yahoo may be you could let me know your id by cc mail thanks or just reply please
RE: To confused
Skype coexists nicely with Yahoo..............I have multiple VoIP apps all going at same time.........they use different post numbers to prevent conflict
RE: Question to viewers about phone sex
think it would depend who the girl is. I wouldn't give out my land line number to anyone
RE: Question to viewers about phone sex
if you give your landline number your mommy or wife might find out what to do here
RE: Question to viewers about phone sex
she is trying to check out your home situation.......i.e. are you married or living in sin LOL
RE: Question to viewers about phone sex
Much easier and cheaper to call the host. The cost of phone cards is so low and it put the member in control of the call. The second part of the question...would I give my home number to a host...only a couple here. Nothing to hide ...I just don't want to be called during the middle of the night or during sex.
RE: Question to viewers about phone sex
I, for some reason seem unable to call, at least to the Philippines. I've tried b4 with certain girls, but always get a busy signal or some other reason it won't go through. What am I doin wrong? I have given out my number b4, but only after i've known them for quite some time
at US school
Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Pupil : "Brotherly love".
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Pupil : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.
Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
Pupil: " Because George still had the axe in is hand"
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman"
Pupil : "A teacher".
Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"
Pupil : "Brotherly love".
Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"
Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook".
Teacher : " Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Pupil : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.
Teacher : " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?"
Pupil: " Because George still had the axe in is hand"
Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"
Sam : "It's a family tradition".
Teacher : "What do you mean?"
Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".
Teacher : "What about your mother?"
Sam : "She's a woman"
RE: at US school
Look Nadeen....i can't tell everyone how mean and nasty you are one day and you post jokes the next :P ....Anyway Russians have no sense of humour remember.....LOL
question for the girls
Girls, if a man has hair growing on the underside of his penis, even if it's only a little bit, is that a big turn-off to you?
If you do, do you have any suggestions for the easiest way to get rid of it? (Shaving, nair)
Have a nice day!
If you do, do you have any suggestions for the easiest way to get rid of it? (Shaving, nair)
Have a nice day!
RE: Follow the blue ball if you really wanna understand how a woman thinks
This reminds me of what I was thinking the first time I tried to seduce a woman............
RE: Follow the blue ball if you really wanna understand how a woman thinks
Wow!
I imagined as much ;)
So this is what I don't see
in video? :D :P
I imagined as much ;)
So this is what I don't see
in video? :D :P
RE: Follow the blue ball if you really wanna understand how a woman thinks
i assumed it meant "follow the blue ball......"
RE: wasnt so hard :P
if this is how it is, maybe it's better if us guys just leave the hosts we truly like........i mean we're being played right?