General Forum

Woman's prayer v.s. Man's prayer

WOMAN'S PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One
who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who
thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray
he's gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls
out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to
"how big is my behind?" I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.


MAN'S PRAYER

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs Who owns a liquor
store and a golf course. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

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Bon Appetite


http://www.starterupsteve.com/swf/chowmein.html
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RE: Bon apptit

That would be the right spelling..

As for the vid.. cute

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WHY CONDOMS ARE PACKED THIS WAY

A man visits a local pharmacy with his 6-year old son Bryan, a very inquisitive boy. As they were paying for their purchases at the counter, the boy saw some packs of condoms and asked, Daddy, what are condoms used for?'

Daddy replied, Bryan, condoms are used by men to have safe sex. Dont worry about them, youre too young to think about such things.

Okay! But Daddy, why are they packed in 3s? asked Bryan.

Daddy was stumped by the question. He thought for a while, and replied, Those are for young men with high sex drive. They have sex 3 times each weekend, on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Each packet can last them a week.

Wow, that is so interesting! But Daddy, why are some of them packed in 12s? asked Bryan again.

Without hesitation, Daddy let out a sigh and replied, Those are for married men whose wives dont like sex. They have sex only once a month. Each packet can last them a year.
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RE: WHY CONDOMS ARE PACKED THIS WAY

Do they sell packed in 365s too?:PP

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RE: WHY CONDOMS ARE PACKED THIS WAY

730 for a year? Thought only me is naughty here:PP

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RE: WHY CONDOMS ARE PACKED THIS WAY

no, you aren`t one who naughty here :P

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RE: WHY CONDOMS ARE PACKED THIS WAY - the real reason

They are in 3-packs for nightly use with HYPNOSIS

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RE: WHY CONDOMS ARE PACKED THIS WAY - the real reason

true - sorry - can you blame me?

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RE: WHY CONDOMS ARE PACKED THIS WAY - the real reason

should i blame you? :P

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RE: WHY CONDOMS ARE PACKED THIS WAY

I need a million packets because I am always having sex with hot babes, practically every day. I am always paying for condoms!!!!

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RE: WHY CONDOMS ARE PACKED THIS WAY

Why are you here then Anon?:PP

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DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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Headache

Headache:
I have a bad headache. I'll visit the doctor, said Murari to Lalwani. Nonsense, yesterday I had a headache, I dashed home, gave a big kiss to my wife and the pain disappeared. Why don't you try it? replied Lalwani.
Murari said: Good idea, call up your wife and tell her I'll be right over.
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RE: Headache

LOL

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Rolls vs. Yugo


A guy driving a Yugo pulls up at a stoplight next to a Rolls-
Royce. The driver of the Yugo rolls down his window and shouts
to the driver of the Rolls, "Hey, buddy, that's a nice car. You
got a phone in your Rolls?

I've got one in my Yugo!"

The driver of Rolls looks over and says simply, "Yes I have a
phone."

The driver of the Yugo says, "Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in
there too? I've got a fridge in the back seat of my Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls, looking annoyed, says, "Yes, I have a
refrigerator."

The driver of the Yugo says, "That's great, man! Hey, you got a
TV in there, too? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my
Yugo!"

The driver of the Rolls, looking very annoyed by now, says, "Of
course I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury
car in the world!"

The driver of the Yugo says, "Very cool car! Hey, you got a bed
in there, too? I got a bed in the back of my Yugo!"

Upset that he did not have a bed, the driver of the Rolls-Royce
sped away, and went straight to the dealer, where he promptly
ordered that a bed be installed in the back of the Rolls. The
next morning, the driver of the Rolls picked up the car, and the
bed looked superb, complete with silk sheets and brass trim. It
was clearly a bed fit for a Rolls Royce.

So the driver of the Rolls begins searching for the Yugo, and he
drove all day. Finally, late at night, he finds the Yugo
parked, with all the windows fogged up from the inside. The
driver of the Rolls got out and knocked on the Yugo. When there
wasn't any answer, he knocked and knocked, and eventually the
owner stuck his head out, soaking wet.

"I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce," the driver of
the Rolls stated arrogantly.

The driver of the Yugo looked at him and said,
"You got me out of the shower to tell me THIS!"
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RE: Rolls vs. Yugo

good one Psy!

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RE: Rolls vs. Yugo

:-))

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RE: Rolls vs. Yugo

heheh

Dir

;)

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"Once again Network Solutions have decided to mess things up... "

Do you think CamContacts simply forgot to renew their domain name? I did that and lost my name to some harvester. The guy bought both the com and org versions of it and has been just sitting on them both.for 2 years. The wierd thing in my case is that the guy never answered my e-mails asking for his terms for their return.
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RE: "Once again Network Solutions have decided to mess things up... "

Not everybody is as negligent and neglectful as you Amazed whoever you are. You make conjectures without knowing the whole story. Just because it happened to you, does not mean it happens to everybody else.

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RE: "Once again Network Solutions have decided to mess things up... "

Network Solution is notorious for screwing things up. A friend has a commercial website and they put him out of business for days. They have lousy product support and amazingly treat big customers the same as small ones...awful people to do business with.

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RE: "Once again Network Solutions have decided to mess things up... "

Perhaps so but was anybody else surprised at CC's response? Badmouthing the service provider over the web seems unprofessional to me. If the 2 organizations are having difficulties in their business relationship they should keep it between themselves and no involve the customer bt airing the dirty laundry. CC should have taken the high road here and said "There are technical difficulties and they are working closely with Network Solutions to remedy ASAP"

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RE: "Once again Network Solutions have decided to mess things up... "

why take the sycophantic mealy-mouthed way."if good men say nothing...."you can't spend your whole life without taking a stand against mistreatment!

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to my love

"Pussy-Pussy-Cat"

"Oh me girl friend has a pussy
A lovely pussy now
An everytime I rubs it
She goes miaow
She has a lovely pussy
I seen it in her house
I did I seen her pussy cat
A gobble up a mouse!

Oh ya thought it was so naughty
But it's not a naughty song
Ya thought it was so naughty
I was coddin all along
Pussy Pussy Pussy
Pussy Pussy Cat
Pussy Pussy Pussy

So fluffy and so fat

First time I saw her pussy
Twas on a summers day
Her lovely fluffy pussy
A lying in the hay
A di ya like me pussy
Its' the only one I got
Begore I do, I surly do
I like it quite a lot!

Twas late that night when I got home
Twas early in the morning
Me Mammy says get in to bed
Me boy you should be snoring
What kept ya out me Mammy says
Ya know shes awful fussy
Says I, sure I was only playing
With me girlfriends pussy!

Well me Mammy nearly done her nut
Come here you little brat
A chap like you at 32
Them things should not be at
But Mammy you should see it
Such a lovely pussy cat
A rubbing up against me"

Copyright Reserved Richie Kavanagh
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RE: to my love

she dont care , only for u money if you send her . she not u love , only in dreams . but love you money she do ,

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Love her all I can


I remember the times I was lonely without her
Now she's mine and I spend my times dreamin' about her

Love her all I can and try to understand
The things that make her glad
The things that make her sad
I'm a lucky guy, I hardly ever cry
And when the world looks bad
She's never ever sad

She's so easy to please and it doesn't take money, no, no
We can have a good time when the skies aren't sunny

Ah, I love her all I can and try to understand
The things that make her glad
The things that make her sad
I'm a lucky guy, I hardly ever cry
And when the world looks bad
She's never ever sad
Whoo

I remember the times I was lonely without her
Now she's mine and I spend my time dreamin' about her

I love her all I can and try to understand
The things that make her glad
The things that make her sad
I'm a lucky guy, I hardly ever cry
And when the world looks bad
She's never ever sad
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RE: Love her all I can

I am melting babe, thank you
Kisses and hugs

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Fulfilling their requests:-))

For girls only:-))



There were 3 men who died and before God would let them into heaven, he gave them a chance to come back as anything they wanted.

The first guy said " I want to come back as myself, but 100 times smarter. So God made him 100 times smarter.

The second guy said "I want to be better than that guy, make me 1000 times smarter. So God made him 1000 times smarter.

The last guy decided he would be the best. So he said "God, make me better than both of them, make me 1,000,000 times smarter.

So God made him a woman !!
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RE: Fulfilling their requests:-))

Boring.....I will yawn to this one.

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RE: Fulfilling their requests:-))

Told you...only girls pls:PP

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RE: Fulfilling their requests:-))

I'll bring you the Sun either:PP

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RE: Fulfilling their requests:-))

I will not, dont worry, this time i'll listen to my dad:PP

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RE: Fulfilling their requests:-))

Of course smart ass.. Sheesh

You can't make a general statement, about which is smarter, as you can't make about which is more beautiful. It always depends on the person and so many other things.

Btw, nice joke, Alex; I guess it was at origins, a misogin joke..

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

ZIDANE don't deserve the title Player of the tournament !!!

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

All that has been revealed is what lip readers could make of it. 7pm BST you will here from Zidane, and the exact words which were said.

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

or the words he claims have been said anyway

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

he may not have said it in Italian

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

Whatever the italian said doesn't justify Zidane's physical asault. He could had waited until the game was over to kick the italian's butt. It was very dumb on his part to hit the italian in front of millions of witnesses where he knew he could get a sactioned. I guess he never thought of it.

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

you are absolutely right oldman

big time players don't get thrown out of big games and it doesn't matter what the italian said, it was the biggest nd most important game of his career and he got thrown out of it

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

no one ever said these guys were intellectual giants ...

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

So you justify physical abuse after a game? Very contradicting.

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

If physical agression is what makes Zidane happy what can we do? Just find a suitable time and space for it, but not in front of millions of kids that think of you as an idol!

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

ohh poor Z, im sure he has been the only athlete called names

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

No, Italy didnt deserve the Cup, but at least Psy could sleep well sunday night:PP

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

No team in the competition deserved the World Cup. The real winners were the likes of Ghana, Trinidad & Tobago aswell as Togo

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

slightly unusual game of football where the real winners are a team like Trinidad and Tobago who didn't even score a goal

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

The real achievement of T&T was reaching the World Cup. They were the smallest nation to compete, and thats a real accomplishment.

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

Right on, Alex :D
You get a kiss for that, on your cheek, even if you didn't help my wish come true :P

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

Just tell me your next wish Psy and i'll make it come true doubly:PP

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

Quidditch is a much more exciting game.

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

I want Zidane in my bed...I looove shaved heads!I suppose the Italian made him very angry....A friend of mine being teacher is going every summer in Italy, she said they easy offend people, I mean they do not care too much about being polite.
Poor Zidane!!...he lost control!Who is perfect?

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

R u crasy? U wanna muslim in yr bed? Disgusting! But it's ok if u don't like Materaci well i'll take him ;)!

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

Wow, I'm surprised the censor let that posting through.....
Now that it's here though, I'm curious: Why do you think Muslims disgusting?

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

Sleep with a muslim man and you'll find out, duh!

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

she said coz she is stupid racist. and duh say duh coz he is stupid too.

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

Prove he called his mom a "terrorist bitch"

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

It's football - Zidane is a great player - superb - Italy won fair and square so thats life

Next Topic ???

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

Incredible. When i read u i wonder if u have a mother or a sister...
If u understand Italian , well easy to read on lips...
About Zidane? the next time he'll meet his mother or his sister, he could look at them in eyes... and without shame...

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

I have a mother and sister. If I was Zidane and someone call them bad words I would fix him right after I am finish my job. Personal matters should be resolved in personal time ;-)

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

Bla bla.... and u're not Zidane, fortunatly for his family.
And if u're taking a coffee while somebody injures ur family, u wait to finish it to answer? really interesting behaviour.
But always some people to give some lessons and the others....

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

I have been insulted while at work or while at School and had fixed them in the appropiate time and in the appropiate manner. Thats what separates kids from adults. Remember, you can lose all the moment you lose your cool. And you are right, I am not Zidane... Thanks God!

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

Thanks God?
Tss tss again a jealous... Incredible
Continue to try driving ur own life and let some people like Zidane driving a generation.


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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

Babe, if every player in this world would behave like Zidane then we'd have wrestling matches instead of different sports. Zidane behaved like an arse, at the end it was him who got f*cked and not Matterazzi. You don't anything about professional sports. Boxers, Basketball, and Hockey Players use the insults strategy all the time. Bottom line is that Zidane behaved like a rookie. Who cares about what a low life like Matterazzi says? Come on! If you have enough dignity and self respect you wouldn't act lower. Babe, you dont go hitting people in this life like little kids or beasts. The world have come a long way to still cherish animal instincts.

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

nah, zidane knew that if he waited for later the italian could kick his ass, he knows the italian is younger and stronger but the italian was tired at that moment when he headbutted him, so he did it at the right moment and time. he didnt have a chance with the italian later.

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

ok - so if it is well easy to read his lips to see what he said in Italian please let us know - (and the english translation) rather than just using the same sort of rumour and leaking that the French have done since sunday night

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

he lost it for the French

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

That last header from Zidane, if Buffon hadn't gotten his fingertips on it and that had been the winning goal, I can't help but think how magical an ending to the World Cup and Zizou's career it would have been... Now it's all just endless talk of an ugly incident.. It's a pity.
I don't fault Zidane for the pronciples behind his actions.. Defending the honor of his family, of an ailing mother especailly, seems noble to me... It was a thoughtless act, yes, but in the heat of the moment and after what I have a feeling was an escalation of many attempts to get under his skin, it's understandable to me how Zidane could have faltered.. He's human.
It's the Italian side that bothers me.. How they play the game, and how they play the officials, especially... Flopping, flailing around in fake agony to get calls, the whinning and protesting, the conspicuous shows of sportsmanship only when they feel a call against them looming or only AFTER their theatrics has earned them a call against an opponent..... It's disgusting.

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

and the French played like real machos? loooool

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

In my opinion, the Italian team plays with no respect for the game or their opponents... The way they play is underhanded, dirty, and dishonorable.... It's a disgrace that they won... It's a disgrace what's going on with Serie A... It's a disgrace the way racist sentiment has a way of raining down out of Italian football stadiums more pronounced than most anywhere else... Italian football, generally, makes me want to vomit...
Tell me, stud, if you had been out there with Zidane, what sweet nothings would have you whispered into his ear and then had the Italian machismo not to owe up to?

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

Real italians never lack of the surprise element and Zidane just acted on hot blooded and he not only lost respect as a gentleman, but lost the game. The French were always whinning throughout the whole game. Don't judge the book for its cover and take it easy. Some soccer players are not the good example of a whole country and its people... ;-)

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

yes you can falut zz. it was the big game

ever see derek jeter get thrown out of a world series game, joe montana out of a super bowl, michael jordan out os an NBA champioship game, pele out of a world cup, NO doesn;t matter what the italian said to him
it was the big game and he got throwon out of it because he didn;'t like the trash talk
oh poor boy

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

you have 4 years to wait for another world cup. cry till then. but the Italians won this one. bravo!

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

I read that if Zidane was playing in the NBA he would have to headbutt ten players a game to protect the "honour" of his family!...grow up, the Italian got into his head, its part of the game (in any sport...M. Ali was a master so was Larry Bird)and Z lost his cool..and possibly the World Cup game for France. For me the World Cup and futbol is more telenovela than sport..every game the fans whine and bitch about refreees and conspiracies, flopping and acting....sorry I'd rather follow a real fake sport like pro wrestling!

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

whiner

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

Come on, Monika, u r not that good in football if u like bloody french team! It's getting darker year after year lol! Italian team plays inteligent footbal, baby! Italians allways deserve thair victory!

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

They play intelligent football? Half the time they are flat on their faces!!!

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

it's getting darker every year? what kind of statement is that kathy?

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

it's getting darker every year? what kind of statement is that kathy?

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

"50% of the ppl all over the world say it was a dirty game and that Italians don't deserve the golden ball?" Could you provide a link to the poll?

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

Dear, you also look =) you do not know me as well.. what i like and what i know about =) So think first before you say you are better in something than other one... never be sure till the end about yourself.. here always is someone in your life who if much much better. =) And next, when something happen what you do not want, learn to agree with it.. you can sorry and to suporrt next time, but not when it happened and all was opened to see to complain few days about by proving something =) If you so much love footfall and wanna complain about it till the end.. here are footfall team sites, football fan cluds sites and ect. But you choose cc for that... eh =))))

Oki... stay with french, I stay with italiannnnnnnn ==))))))

Kiss

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

It's football - Zidane is a great player - superb - Italy won fair and square so thats life

Next Topic ???

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

Ah.. I bet you could behave as Zidane made.. =) Mind with limit... of words.. so here should be actions =P Result: France loss, Italy won. But 2d place is not that bad too =) Why? Go to zidane and ask him why he made this silly actions.. on tv he will say what is needed to say.. you ask him personally if you wanna dig to the truth.. or really go to more professional site about =) And on this site i see even football in different quilities =) And do not complain ===))) I am soo sorry about france and of couse about you =) la vita... C'est la vie..

Yes, I am out of this.. I am in peace with myself... And you can write during month about it here and everywhere, all teams need such fans =P Good luck.

Ciaooooooooooooooo

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

50% of the peiople are wrong!

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RE: Italy...Do they deserve the award?

lol yes thats what monika already said.

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condoms

Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Maude: what in the devil is that?
Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Maude: Where did you get it?
Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.
"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."
The pharmacist fainted.

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RE: :)

Camels are a brand of cigarettes.

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RE: :)

i thought camels are some kind of anonymous here who like to spit on everything and everyone :D

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RE: :)

I know only camel toe:PP

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RE: :)

larry the wonder llama has a tendency
to spit on people.
careful of him, he chews tobacco as well

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RE: :)

Of course, but i have a better idea...I'll show you on your body:PP

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RE: :)

Ok, in pvt i'll give you hints:PP

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RE: Voodoo Dick

Can't you post all these jokes in one thread?

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RE: Voodoo Dick

no

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"page cannot be displayed"

in the course of the DNS Change from dot NEt to dot COM there is a problem where members and hosts can't view host profiles from the chat window
The issue is that the links haven't been changed to the new extension so the links still point to the dot net address.

SOLUTION: once the page error displays .. select the NET in the address line and change it to COM ... then hit the enter button this will correct the confusion in the browser untill the web design department can correct the linking in the java scripts for community chat

I hope this solves the irritations that people have been having
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RE: "page cannot be displayed"

and of course hosts blame the members when they couldnt load their profiles.

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RE: "page cannot be displayed"

The Gremlens are alway playing around with CC.. LOL

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RE: "page cannot be displayed"

Thank You Kerry
not everybody is easy to satisfy.
I didn't know there was a connection problem with the web cam software.
If I knew I would have opened up my host account and tryed to come up with a solution to that also.

Love Rob

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CC WebCam cant be downloaded.

I had several girls already who entered my chat and asked how I managed to start session.

Seems they have such a trouble.They click the label CCWebCam then the software asks them for upgrading.They click it for upgrading but it writes them "Upgrading failed".I couldnt catch whats up as I'm no there.

But if someone managed to solve the trouble could you pls write how you had managed to do this.

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RE: CC WebCam cant be downloaded.

Some DNS servers update faster and some update slower. It should be available to update CC WebCam Software for everyone eventually - all you can do is wait till it resolves the IP address for updates.

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RE: CC WebCam cant be downloaded.

I haven't opened my host account in a long time.. but I will log on with the web cam software and see what you guys are dealing with.

maybe I can find a work around until the Domain Name Services up date the changes CC made to their domain.
The CC rep that replyed to you is right it may take a little bit of time before all the DNS Servers update. Hopefully not too much longer.

Rob

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Help

Help.
I am a bastard. Like many guests I met a girl and lied. ( I am a man).
This girl would not go pvt (One2One) with me and hated to be naked with guests. We would chat for hours. She fell in love with me and left chat site. I told her truth and broke her heart, for I am unavailable for love. Like most guests, I lied about age and marital status. I loved girl in my own way, but to find she was in real love with me and is now hearet-broken, is really painful for me. A warning for guests, do not get involved with girls unless always truthful, and a warning for hosts, all (or most) guests are liars.
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RE: Help

hey! Why are you trying to justify what you have done?
Take responsibility for YOUR OWN actions and stop making excuses!

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RE: Help

Are youi reading the same posting I made?? I am not making excuses and I have taken responsibility for my actions. It took a lot of doing, but we are still friends (just).
And thanks to the understanding of other postees.

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RE: Help

Wow, that really sucks.... The only way to make ammends, I would say, is to stay truthful and tell her how badly you feel for having led her to believe that there was a possibility of something real between the two of you... Offer her your friendship, virtual and online if that's all you're able to offer, and just hope she's able to quickly get over her feelings for what she thought she had with you.

I'm guessing that this sort of thing isn't too uncommon, actually... Chatting with a few hosts, I've heard a few pretty sad stories of guys doing such things before... Enough to make me think that there are quite a few members here who seem to get some kind of thrill out of making pretty young women a world away pine for them with hopes and expectations of real love and real futures that those members play-up but have no real intention of ever satisfying.
It's messed-up... and damn sad.

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RE: Help

Hey! don't be so hard on yourself, just don't do it again. Only good came out of it. She learned a lesson in love, a lesson not by a teacher, and not from parents or friends but from experience which is the best kind. But that's not the good news, the good news is that I think she's going to live.
And don't worry about her either, soon she be walking down the street with a new man 1 month or a year from now and looking back on today and thinking what jerk you was.
It's much easier for a woman to recover than a man.

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RE: Help

since i have been here i have read many silly inane imbecilic posts(probably made a few myself) but you my friend have just won the gold medal in the olympics of stupid posts!"women find it easier to recover than men"what a load of...i can't believe...you have left me speechless!

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to the guy above

wow I made a friend and won a medal. Nicccce. lol

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RE: to the guy above

except that"the guy above"who you now have as a friend...is not a guy ;-))))

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RE: Help

"She learned a lesson in love"

You're not serious! Please tell me you're mocking someone.
Because if that's the way you want a person to learn, I could suggest you to do that with your kids. Find them some guy that plays with them, and tell them smiling " my dear; you had your first life lesson" .
If the kid is still alive, because many have this weird habit to suicide if tricked like this.

Well, let's hope CC will let me post this.

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RE: Help

Yes, she is still alive and talking to me (just)

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RE: Help

Update to yesterday, she has forgiven me and will still be my friend. I am one lucky bastard.

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RE: Help

I know one girl who was sucked in by such a guy. He went to the lengths of visiting her country several times and claiming he files her Fiancee Visa form. He strung her along so long until she got a phone call from his wife demanding to know who she was.

After that rocky bit she accepted being the mistress. After a couple years he finally kicked her out like a used rag.

On the other hand I know one host who sucks guys' wallets dry right and left without a second thought.

And then there are those totally innocent circumstances. I know one host being actively pursued by 2 guys. She made the choise of the more generous (and guilt-inducing one) and actually now wishes she chose the boring one.

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RE: AVGOOSTA

Good to have you back, honey. (K)

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RE: AVGOOSTA

OH SWEETHEART!!!!!!!

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Horny Parrot:-))

A guy has a horny parrot. It's terrible. Every time he reaches into the cage, the bird humps his arm. He invites his mother to tea, and the bird keeps saying foul things. Finally he takes the parrot to a vet.

The vet examines the bird extensively, says, "Well, you have a horny male parrot. I have a sweet young female bird, and for fifteen dollars your bird can go in the cage with mine."

The guy's parrot is listening and says, "Come on! Come on! What are you waiting for?"

Finally, the guy says "All right" and hands over the fifteen dollars.

The vet takes the parrot, puts him in the cage with the female bird, closes the curtain.

Suddenly, "Kwah! Kwah! Kwah!" The cage starts shaking and feathers come flying out.

The vet says, "Holy gee," and runs across the room and opens the curtain.

The male bird has the female bird down on the bottom of the cage with one claw. With the other claw he's pulling out all her feathers. He's saying, "For fifteen bucks, I want you naked, bitch. Naked!"
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RE: Horny Parrot:-))

That really is one of the funniest jokes i will ever hear:)...ty hun.

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RE: Horny Parrot:-))

I wonder if that would work with the hosts on here?

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RE: Horny Parrot:-))

Hm i dont think its possible to settle 15$ per a minute:-s

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RE: Horny Parrot:-))

just cook the bird

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Horny me :D

I would pull out all feathers of some slave for 15$ :P

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when the children cry

Little child dry your crying eyes
How can I explain the fear you feel inside
Cause you were born into this evil world
Where man is killing man and no one knows just why
What have we become just look what we have done
All that we destroyed you must build again

CHORUS
When the children cry let them know we tried
Cause when the children sing then the new world begins
Little child you must show the way
To a better day for all the young
Cause you were born for all the world to see
That we all can live with love and peace
No more presidents and all the wars will end
One united world under God

CHORUS

What have we become just look what we have done
All that we destroyed you must build again
No more presidents and all the wars will end
One united world under God

When the children cry let them know we tried
When the children fight let them know it ain't right
When the children pray let them know the way
Cause when the children sing then the new world begins
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RE: when the children cry

nice johnz :)

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RE: when the children cry

white lion

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RE: when the children cry

Winger

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Re:

thank you all who like my posts :) Kisses and hugs
to others: i dont care what you think about me (look at my name - im bitch in my soul and i was born as bitch:) i love this site and i post jokes here for my friends :) if you see my name - dont read this :)
Good luck :)
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RE: Re:

What posts?

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NEW CC Chat babes Line up... new category needed?

http://www.geocities.com/greybeerded/Exercisepage.html
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RE: NEW CC Chat babes Line up... new category needed?

mmmmmmmmmmm, my kinda of girls, big and bad. Yeaaaaaaaaaah!!!!

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The Right Answer..........

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his Company's Annual Office Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He doesn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack forced himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the bedside table and, next to them, a single red rose!

Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringing when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to go and get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Michelle"

Jack stumbles to the kitchen, and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, then you puked in the hallway and got that black eye when you ran into the door."

Confused he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean? Why do I have a rose and breakfast on the table waiting for me???!!"

His son replies, "Oh, THAT! Well, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"

Broken coffee table: $39.99
Hot breakfast: $4.20
Two aspirins: $0.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time..! .Priceless
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To Director-Matt

hey babe, dont ever think i forgot about u... my baby.... Im waiting.... ya know where i am.... the best man here, u r the best my dear matt, ur midnight love... hehehe
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RE: To Director-Matt

matty boyy where are u lover ?

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RE: To Director-Matt

Cudn't you just write a cc mail to him?

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RE: To Director-Matt

shut up jealous rabbit!

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RE: To Director-Matt

I didn't post that!

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RE: To Director-Matt

wow
thx for nice words hehe :-)

I feel lucky to have so many nice messages ..
hope i find out who some of you are :-)

thx for sms and emails and e-cards - and nice messages..

Im very pleased so many remembered.
I have taken on a new business - opertunity , so not about so much.
will try and keep in touch , and yahoo . msn and sms those that know me ..

Thanks Again


for the few who said something not so good ,,
best wishes to you as well ..
I am much too old to hold grudges..

we are non perfect and we all make mistakes , but forgiveness is by far the best thing to have and to learn from life,,
I forgive those any cruel words or thoughtless comments - or unkind deeds or actions ..

I hope in time anyone I upset will forgive me too :-)

Matt

hope you like my latest pics too , been traveling a lot and had many nice visitors in the last few weeks.. and kitchen is looking cool :-)

so many nice comments from all who saw my designs for lounge bathroom and kitchen...- i worked very hard to make these , 99% finished now ..

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RE: Who is it?

Matt is Director, maybe the same Director as some time ago; if so, he's a nice guy ;)

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RE: Who is it?

Hey ,, :-) thx .. long memory .. maybeu would say hi to me on yahoo or msn ? links are at my profile = host = director

( for recors > i never have or plan to have any web site or do anything with anyone elses pics , all you see at my 360 or profile are my pics , my camera , :-) )

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RE: To Director-Matt

Belate Happy Birthday, Sir! I doubt that you remember me, there are soon 5 years since weve talked last.
If you are travelling such a lot, can you please, rent me the room with that red sofa?..I need a bit more place for work! Thanks

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RE: To Director-Matt

thx mistress

im thinking :p

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RE: To Director-Matt

wow

hahaha thanks

i will search again for U ..;)

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RE: To Director-Matt

Long Time Host is totally right. TheDirector has done what she stated and probably still is, because CC allows him to stay on here. Too bad. He also accuses innocent people of doing what he himself is actually doing. He should be banned from CC and the Universe. Now, CC probably wont post this message either.

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RE: To Director-Matt

if only u knew ...

maybe your not so smart .. and maybe ,, you dont know the whole truth
he helped many here , cant say more..i owe him a lot.

thx
again.

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RE: To Director-Matt

you can owe him all u want,..doesnt change the truth that he is a coniving user of people. not my fault your not smart enough to see that. :-)

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RE: To Director-Matt

not my fault u r missinformed either ;)

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RE: To Director-Matt

he confessed sweety with his own lips and fingers. ud better wake up

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Mating rituals...

Two Indians and a Tennessee Hillbilly were walking through the woods.

All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. He called into the cave "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" and listened closely until he heard an answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then
tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The Hillbilly was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all
about. "Was the other Indian crazy or what?" The Native American replied "No, It is our custom that during the mating season when Indian men see a cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. ! If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful woman in there waiting for us."

Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the
cave, stopped, and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" Immediately, there was the answer: "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" from deep inside the cave. So, he also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

The Hillbilly wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, "Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave!
It is bigger than those that the Indians found. There must be some really big fine women in this cave!" He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"

Just like the others, he heard an answering call,"WOOOOOOOOO,
WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!" With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.

The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read....

NAKED HILLBILLY RUN OVER BY TRAIN.
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