General Forum
RE: MOST OF ALL U AFRAID OF....
Little people... I know it's not right, but they really do freak me out.
RE: MOST OF ALL U AFRAID OF....
Same fears here. When I ever I get stressed out, I have nightmares about about drowning in an ocean.
RE: MOST OF ALL U AFRAID OF....
No problems with fire, but then I guess 12 years of firefighting tamed the fears a bit. I just hate it, but at the same time it's amazing with the things it can do.
RE: MOST OF ALL U AFRAID OF....
Im afraid of...i wont have enough time to think about my pet aversion:PP
RE: MOST OF ALL U AFRAID OF....
I am afraid if one day ...chatting on the video session with someone... i'll put a cigarette to my mouth by another tip, ...burn a filter and make a fire, coz then i'll drop it on my clothes........trying to put it out i'll lose my glasses and accidentally crush them.....fire becomes bigger...i begin to suffocate and cough...my artificial jaw with nice teeth flies out of my mouth and breaks....false eyelashes peels off....antifire sistem works out and starts watering.....and someone watching that all on my video will roll on the floor laughing his fucking crazy ass off.......
This is what im afraid most of all :(((
This is what im afraid most of all :(((
RE: MOST OF ALL U AFRAID OF....
Being trapped on a tropical island with all the CC hosts I said I loved...and there are many....the problem is I really love only one. Would I survive long enough to tell her she was the one....I suspect they would all decide to bang me to death....a slow, wet, hot steamy way to die...you animals.
RE: MOST OF ALL U AFRAID OF....
i wasn't really afraid of anything until that post WTF. Now I fear it will only be sloppy seconds for me. lol
RE: MOST OF ALL U AFRAID OF....
Nadeen,
your always making me think ;) :P
(I'm afraid of that :D)
your always making me think ;) :P
(I'm afraid of that :D)
RE: MOST OF ALL U AFRAID OF....
dont afraid to think time to time....it's useful for brains :D
Love In A Trashcan
If you touch that girl
You know it's okay
People say she's a whore anyway
I think she looks like a nice vamp
Looking for love in a trashcan
If you kiss that girl you won't be caught dead
She's the coolest girl you think you ever met
I think she fits right into my life
On the road till the end of time
Now the time is right and you feel the need
To go down low and receive a treat
The jukebox churns out songs about sex
Come on baby you're my best fix
You know it's okay
People say she's a whore anyway
I think she looks like a nice vamp
Looking for love in a trashcan
If you kiss that girl you won't be caught dead
She's the coolest girl you think you ever met
I think she fits right into my life
On the road till the end of time
Now the time is right and you feel the need
To go down low and receive a treat
The jukebox churns out songs about sex
Come on baby you're my best fix
Happy Birthday
A big happy birthday to Luciene. A very sweet and beautiful girl, I wish you all the luck and happiness in life.
RE: Happy Birthday
Happy birthday Mila...i wish u lots of happiness and hope u recieve all u want in life..obnimite menia...pocelujte menya
RE: Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday Sweet Mila..
Hope u have a wnoderful day and lots of gifts from all that know you and a gr8 big party to celebrate.. And you never know a giant sized cake with me in it to jump out off for u..... ;-)
Have a wonderful day Mila.
Hugs and kisses
Hope u have a wnoderful day and lots of gifts from all that know you and a gr8 big party to celebrate.. And you never know a giant sized cake with me in it to jump out off for u..... ;-)
Have a wonderful day Mila.
Hugs and kisses
RE: Happy Birthday Luciene
pisechka! Happy Birthday :) wish you only the best! Presents,love, kiss and hugs many times a day lots of luck, lots of presents;) and a nice holiday :)). WISH YOU ALL THE BEST FOR THE BEST GIRL ON CC! :P
o! and to those who said nice tits! (haha something u'll never have) rude asses :)
Kiss Luciene all the best!
o! and to those who said nice tits! (haha something u'll never have) rude asses :)
Kiss Luciene all the best!
RE: samyrra - for big honkers
I looked at Samyrra's profile and she is nice, but her boobs aren't that big?? Who is what? I am confused!!!
Taste like poop:-))
One day a boy and hid father were walking through the woods when the son spotted some rabbit droppings.
The boy asked hid Dad, ''What are these Pop?''
''They're smart pills son,'' said his father.
''Eat them and they'll make you smarter."
So he ate them and said, ''Yuck...these taste like poop!''
''See,'' said his father, ''you're already getting smarter!''
The boy asked hid Dad, ''What are these Pop?''
''They're smart pills son,'' said his father.
''Eat them and they'll make you smarter."
So he ate them and said, ''Yuck...these taste like poop!''
''See,'' said his father, ''you're already getting smarter!''
Ahhhhh
Beavers, Beavers, there are Beavers everywhere on this website!!!...there is no place to hide, I must be strong, I can't surrender to the furry varmints. Back to the woods you naughty beavers!!
Fav pornstars?
Whos your favorite porn stars?
Mines are Lanny Barby , Belladonna, Jenna Jameson and Peter North
Mines are Lanny Barby , Belladonna, Jenna Jameson and Peter North
RE: Fav pornstars?
mine is felecia because i saw my ex wife (a stripper) and her have sex....no joking...amazing
RE: Fav pornstars?
Traci Lords and Shauna Grant are my favorite girls. Peter North and Ron Jeremy for their cum shots. Ilona Staller (Cicciolina) for her looks and all round dirtiness.
RE: Fav pornstars?
Give me a couple of hours, a can of Crisco, a plastic shower curtain and some Pearl Jam on the radio and you answer that question again Nadeen.....
RE: Fav pornstars? - news article
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20060703/od_afp/usreligionsexoffbeat_060703165605
RE: bye bye friends:)
Do I know you? Bye Bye Schnapps.....watch out for those freak waves, tho ur pillows will hold you in good stead.
Take care, muah
Take care, muah
RE: bye bye friends:)
have fun ginger and hurry back lol....i will miss u ...take care my friend kisses muahhhhhhhhhhhhh....and btw dont forget to do some pics with a wet t-shirt for dave :))))))
RE: bye bye friends:)
Have a great time Gingerbaby and remember tp bring back the bikini pics.
One less host for me to annoy in comm chat :(
Don't worry I won't ask if the bitch has left yet :P
One less host for me to annoy in comm chat :(
Don't worry I won't ask if the bitch has left yet :P
RE: bye bye friends:)
Have a gr8 time Ginger Ale.... B4 you go can i have my clothes back :P
All of them this time.. ;)
Have a gr8 time at sea Ginger Ale, take plenty of bikini pics and get a lovely tan with no tan lines... I`ll be checking when u get back btw.. hehe
Have the best fun ever Ginger. Cya when u get back...
Hugs and kisses
All of them this time.. ;)
Have a gr8 time at sea Ginger Ale, take plenty of bikini pics and get a lovely tan with no tan lines... I`ll be checking when u get back btw.. hehe
Have the best fun ever Ginger. Cya when u get back...
Hugs and kisses
RE: bye bye friends:)
c ya schnapps...have fun and dont forget to take some pics for me dave and dm with the wet t-shirl ;)
Gender Benders - a joke or what?
Take a look at "SexyestDodo" and other girls from that studio.
They have taken naked pics of the girls there and then manipulated a big cock onto them using Photoshop. Others use dildos in their panties or other tricks.
Who falls for that stuff? Do any of you guys/girls actually go there? Just curious. :-D
They have taken naked pics of the girls there and then manipulated a big cock onto them using Photoshop. Others use dildos in their panties or other tricks.
Who falls for that stuff? Do any of you guys/girls actually go there? Just curious. :-D
XGALAXXY conquored Lookn4u
XGALAXXY used her superior intelligence and beauty to conquor me. She is the best mistress in the universe. She made me submit unconditionally. I am Her worker and will do anything to please Her. Her beauty is second to none. I long to be with Her and think about Her constantly. I look forward to my future under Her total control.
RE: XGALAXXY conquored Lookn4u
Interesting comment...of lesser interest is your need to remain anonymous when posting malicious replies. Has life been so cruel that your self-esteem failed to develop beyond that of a young child? Did mommy not breast feed you? Was the silicon nipple on your bottle too cold and hard? Poor baby. Does your need for oral supplication drive you to this inane behavior? Yes i enjoy pushing the envelope for fun to the maximum. Meanwhile you wallow in self-pity, launching insignificant snipes from the security of anonymiity. Poor baby.
RE: XGALAXXY conquored Lookn4u
i don't think it really speaks well of a person's mental health that he chooses to post something meant malicious. anonymous or not.
we're on a forum on a pornsite afterall. none of us should be taking ourselves or anyone else here too seriously.
we're on a forum on a pornsite afterall. none of us should be taking ourselves or anyone else here too seriously.
RE: XGALAXXY conquored Lookn4u
Aha now I know why she's always trying to boss me around :P
Unfortunately I am a slave for no woman :)
Unfortunately I am a slave for no woman :)
RE: XGALAXXY conquored Lookn4u
You should try being a slave to a woman. Life offers no finer pleasure.
RE: XGALAXXY conquored Lookn4u
Nah I'll leave that to you lookn.
I can't see the point myself and probably never will. But hey it would be a boring world if we were all the same and liked the same things.
I can't see the point myself and probably never will. But hey it would be a boring world if we were all the same and liked the same things.
pffffffff
im curious........ very curious........
why girls who works as chathost here if you enter their room says they are looking for love, friends, husband and etc here?
if you came here for money?
why you cant say just "at 1st this is my job and of course i would like meet here ffriends and etc"?
why girls who works as chathost here if you enter their room says they are looking for love, friends, husband and etc here?
if you came here for money?
why you cant say just "at 1st this is my job and of course i would like meet here ffriends and etc"?
RE: pffffffff
Cos the truth don't make those guys feel special and get them coming back again and again.
RE: pffffffff
i would think it would be well understood that chathosts are here to make money first. not sure why it would be necessary to explain that.
WC Final
My bet is on Germany-Portugal and Germany wins althou I wish Portugal would. France had a great play last night but I dont know if they can keep up and play the same in the semifinals. Brazil sucked big time.
Who do u think is going to be in the final and who is going to win?
Who do u think is going to be in the final and who is going to win?
RE: WC Final
what about Italia Vs Portugal the best teams in in this WC edition...
Italian do it better!
Italian do it better!
RE: WC Final
Why not Italia Vs Portugal? The best teams of this WC edition. Italiani do it better...
RE: WC Final
Yes, a final between the two teams who most flop, fake injury, and whine when a foul isn't called.... That would be the perfect topper to this year's World Cup. :P
RE: WC Final
Germany-Portugal was my thought also, but hoping Portugal to win :)
and hope Ronaldo will play, i think i'm in love... :P
and hope Ronaldo will play, i think i'm in love... :P
RE: WC Final
Alex, do you care for your life? Seriously.
I would even pray so they won't win..
I would even pray so they won't win..
RE: WC Final
Telling the truth..., never liked France, but after i have seen their match against Spain&Brazil...
RE: WC Final
I have got to go with Italy. Screw the Germans for general reasons. Everyone hates the french. I have nothing against portugal but I like Italian food so....Go Italia....
Need Advice
I meet a host from here two years ago and have meet her several times since in Yaro. I really like this girl but I just found out she is pregnant. The timing of my last visit could make me the father and she swears its mine but I take precautions and have never had this problem before. To prove its mine I would have to have several tests done and she refuses to do this claiming I'm being too suspicious of her.
I'm not going to marry her soon in any case however if its mine I feel a duty to provide some kind of support to her and her child.
Should I just dump her now and forget the whole thing or should I continue to pressure her for the testing that will provide the answer I need?
I'm not going to marry her soon in any case however if its mine I feel a duty to provide some kind of support to her and her child.
Should I just dump her now and forget the whole thing or should I continue to pressure her for the testing that will provide the answer I need?
RE: Need Advice
wait till the baby is born,
get a paternity test.
they are cheap and accurate.
get a paternity test.
they are cheap and accurate.
RE: Need Advice
Good question. I'd be sad to find out that you invented the story to give the forum something to chat about.
Well, returning to the topic at hand, dump her right here and right now. That'll show her. Or, more precisely, if you're taken for a ride, you will not have fallen for the scam. If you're the father, the kid and the mother will be far better off without a 'daddy' of your kind.
Well, returning to the topic at hand, dump her right here and right now. That'll show her. Or, more precisely, if you're taken for a ride, you will not have fallen for the scam. If you're the father, the kid and the mother will be far better off without a 'daddy' of your kind.
RE: Need Advice
To reiterate on my previous post, what kind of question is this even?
Take some responsibility for your actions ffs, verify whether you're the father or not. If not, tough cookies, but at least you'll feel better.
Take some responsibility for your actions ffs, verify whether you're the father or not. If not, tough cookies, but at least you'll feel better.
RE: Need Advice
You've known her for 2 years and u are not sure if u're the father? How old are you? 16...17?
Pie is right, they are probably better off without u.
Pie is right, they are probably better off without u.
RE: Need Advice
Why does knowing her for 2 years automatically make him the father Joy? He didn't say they were in a relationship together, only that he has known her for 2 years and visited her several times. And even if they were married it still wouldn't be a 100% guarantee that he was the father. Married women cheat and get pregnant all the time in this world and the husbands sometimes never discover the children they've raised were not their own. Women are not innocent little angels that never lie. Women cheat just as much, if not more than, men nowadays and normally the guys they are cheating with a complete jerks they wouldn't date but are a good feck. So if she get's knocked up she usually tells her bf or husband (i.e. the good man that is always there for her and treats her well) that the baby is his (even if she doesn't really think it is) because she knows he will be a good father and take good care of the baby. I think Concerned is wise to have doubts. He lives in another country and only visits her from time to time. He has no idea what her life is like and what she does when he is not there and I sincerely doubt that she tells him everything when they talk and never lies.
So Concerned if I was you I would not burn any bridges with her. Stay on good terms with her and talk with her as much as you can, but do not accept paternity for the baby or get engaged/married to her until the baby is born and you have gotten a paternity test that proves you are the father. I would also not send her any money, which I am sure she will ask for. Instead tell her you will start a savings account and have a set amount of money from your salary direct deposited into it every week for the baby, and if the paternity test proves you are the father you will send her all of that money for the baby and continue to give her financial support to help her with the child. And then you can discuss what kind of relationship you want to have together.
So Concerned if I was you I would not burn any bridges with her. Stay on good terms with her and talk with her as much as you can, but do not accept paternity for the baby or get engaged/married to her until the baby is born and you have gotten a paternity test that proves you are the father. I would also not send her any money, which I am sure she will ask for. Instead tell her you will start a savings account and have a set amount of money from your salary direct deposited into it every week for the baby, and if the paternity test proves you are the father you will send her all of that money for the baby and continue to give her financial support to help her with the child. And then you can discuss what kind of relationship you want to have together.
RE: Need Advice
captaincaveman gives you sound advise, and if you would be a responsible type of guy this would be the path to follow. If you want a relationship with this woman or child in the future or not, this is the best way to go.
RE: Need Advice
I agree. Captaincaveman's advice should be the path to follow. Problem in these cases is hard to tell. You wouldn't never know if you are the only man she met from this site. I went to Rom. twice to meet the same girl who swore I was the only one she was meeting. Of course, kissing, sex, and all. Later I discovered I was one of three...
RE: Need Advice
get the paternity test after the child is born.....if it's yours you take on the responsibility of having put it on earth, it didn't ask to be here
RE: Need Advice
hey we know very well how things are here. and knowning someone from here for two years doesnt mean you know them and everything they are doing. cripes joy and others, we have all been here long enough to know that a person can be anything they want on here and we have no real way of telling who they really are. even after 4 years :P
RE: Need Advice
"The timing of my last visit could make me the father and she swears its mine but I take precautions and have never had this problem before."
if you are really sure about it then forget about her. Lot girls here have real boyfriends even if they swear that they love you and have meet you
Good luck :)
if you are really sure about it then forget about her. Lot girls here have real boyfriends even if they swear that they love you and have meet you
Good luck :)
RE: Need Advice
my concern is that you come to forum on a porn site to get advice. and we all know that hosts (or members) never lie on here!! lol
RE: Need Advice
Well, just convince her that with the proof you ask you will provide documentation that makes the baby a U.S. citizen. This may not impress anyone here, but a U.S. passport may be helpful to the baby someday.
RE: Need Advice
Just because the baby has an american father doesn't make it a citizen. The baby would have to be born in the US. Having a american father would only make it easier for the mother to travel to the US.
RE: Need Advice - you're wrong
Actually, you are wrong. Having one American parent gives the child AUTOMATIC full citizenship (can even be President). It makes it easier, but not automatic, for the other parent to come to USA.
RE: Need Advice - you're wrong
Correct!!!!!!!!!!! wow some here actually know more than the rumors of Visa's ...citizenship...etc........However the first post was correct in that the baby MUST be registered to recieve citizenship........It could be impossible later: for example: if the parent dies and proof cant be obtained who was the father.
RE: Need Advice
im not a doctor, but i heard of tests available, i say because you mentioned taking several, one is fine.
your coment on dumping her now is a bit harsh,
however, i can see why,
you dont have trust in her cuz you require the test.
if she was smart she would get the test a.s.a.p. to prove to you that she did not cheat on you.
so as i think now... TELL her to get the test ! dont be a pussy.
if she says she wont, then hang up the phone. your a free man.
everytime she calls, simply ask if she got test results yet, she say no, hang up.
your life just got a whole lot more complicated dude. good luck
your coment on dumping her now is a bit harsh,
however, i can see why,
you dont have trust in her cuz you require the test.
if she was smart she would get the test a.s.a.p. to prove to you that she did not cheat on you.
so as i think now... TELL her to get the test ! dont be a pussy.
if she says she wont, then hang up the phone. your a free man.
everytime she calls, simply ask if she got test results yet, she say no, hang up.
your life just got a whole lot more complicated dude. good luck
RE: Need Advice
I am married and very good friend with my husband.I met a guy from CC and if he will leave me pregnant, I can proove it, making the test.My husband cannot make children.
If your girl doesnt want to make the test...hm...bit strange! Why not, if she is honest?
If your girl doesnt want to make the test...hm...bit strange! Why not, if she is honest?
tell me please?
Ok, I read that post on merkins,
and could someone tell me why
you would wear one?
How do you put it on? Keep it on?
and could someone tell me why
you would wear one?
How do you put it on? Keep it on?
RE: tell me please?
Ladies are you tired of the same old boring vagina hairstyle day after day? Don't you wish your muff could be ready for every occassion without all those expensive visits to the salon? Well now it can be, thanks to ACME's Pretty Beaver Merkin Collection!
Going out for a night on the town? Slap on our 70's style Afro Merkin and head down to the disco for a swinging good time. Got an important business meeting and want to be taken seriously? Put on our Bun Merkin and let the guys see you're all business.Considering a life of celibacy? Try our Monk Merkin on for size and everyone will know they won't be getting nun. Going to a Phish concert or have a date with Barbersam? Then you'll love our Au Natural Merkin for that never-been-trimmed overgrown look. Planning a tropical holiday? You'll be all the rage on those sandy beaches wearing either our Dread Merkin or our Island Bead Merkin. Or maybe you just got your hair dyed? Well we have merkins in every hair color imaginable so you never have to worry again about the carpet not matching the curtains.
Call now! Our operators are standing by.
Going out for a night on the town? Slap on our 70's style Afro Merkin and head down to the disco for a swinging good time. Got an important business meeting and want to be taken seriously? Put on our Bun Merkin and let the guys see you're all business.Considering a life of celibacy? Try our Monk Merkin on for size and everyone will know they won't be getting nun. Going to a Phish concert or have a date with Barbersam? Then you'll love our Au Natural Merkin for that never-been-trimmed overgrown look. Planning a tropical holiday? You'll be all the rage on those sandy beaches wearing either our Dread Merkin or our Island Bead Merkin. Or maybe you just got your hair dyed? Well we have merkins in every hair color imaginable so you never have to worry again about the carpet not matching the curtains.
Call now! Our operators are standing by.
tisk
mind your manners... dont know it this has been posted here yet... http://www.readersdigest.ca/mag/2006/07/polite.php
sharing the love
I will share a song before I take my poodles out for a walk on this beautiful day...hugs and kissess to everyone
You drag me across your opened wound
I am on my last limb I'm on my last limb
Stuck in the mainstream pseudo dude
You are on your last limb you're on your last limb
The day I die will mean nothing to you
The days of swine and roses
Your mind's diseased with perverted justice
I am on my last limb I'm on my last limb
Nameless horror we call love
I was only laughing hah I was laughing
Xian zombie vampyre
I am the father the father of nothing
The day I die because of you
The days of swine and roses
tkk
You drag me across your opened wound
I am on my last limb I'm on my last limb
Stuck in the mainstream pseudo dude
You are on your last limb you're on your last limb
The day I die will mean nothing to you
The days of swine and roses
Your mind's diseased with perverted justice
I am on my last limb I'm on my last limb
Nameless horror we call love
I was only laughing hah I was laughing
Xian zombie vampyre
I am the father the father of nothing
The day I die because of you
The days of swine and roses
tkk
RE: sharing the love
Please ya'll....Stop with the humming will ya?
I'm jonesin' bad for a Chuck super-blaster show and you're only adding to my griefly wantin'.
The way that rightous dude scarfs down a bag of leftover heat-lamped McNuggets and shimmies himself into a tailpipe hummin' groove machine is a spectacle to hug and behold. God I miss him. Anyone know when the brown scamp might be thinkin' 'bout scamperin' on back?
I'm jonesin' bad for a Chuck super-blaster show and you're only adding to my griefly wantin'.
The way that rightous dude scarfs down a bag of leftover heat-lamped McNuggets and shimmies himself into a tailpipe hummin' groove machine is a spectacle to hug and behold. God I miss him. Anyone know when the brown scamp might be thinkin' 'bout scamperin' on back?
to Squeakers
Check out his blog page...he updated it with new photos and some of his older artwork recently. He has not e-mailed me in over a month which is odd, he must be busy doing something.
RE: to Squeakers
Last I saw of old Chuck, he was wearing a hole in his rug, pacing and muttering how he had grand plans to usurp the mighty Mayor McCheese so that he might rightly dispense his own brand of "special sauce" justice on that rascally Hamburglar.
Godspeed, Chuckeroonie.
Godspeed, Chuckeroonie.
Thank You
To the girl who posted as a Banana. Thank you for the nice words about my beard in my forum, you were the first to comment on my pictures. I am not on-line very much because I am not looking for cheap fun. I just enjoy talking to others about my love for Jesus and my passion for making model ships. I am sorry to disappoint you but I will not show you my behind. Thank you very much for your visit and best of luck in your life. Yahweh loves You, thanks, Jammer B.
RE: Thank You
hello, DEAR chosenfriend!!!
I always liked...........like.............and will like............ to talk with YOU
thanks a lot that you are with us
kisssssssssss for a nice FRIEND here
Cash for hair
OK I give up.
Having conducted an extensive search to find a pretty, sexy, friendly European woman who doesn't shave, I'll just come straight out with it:
How much do I have to pay one of you lovely ladies to grow it?!
Having conducted an extensive search to find a pretty, sexy, friendly European woman who doesn't shave, I'll just come straight out with it:
How much do I have to pay one of you lovely ladies to grow it?!
RE: Cash for hair
well, ...................
why didn't you ask for how long you should wait. btw, it takes time to grow it
and one more thing,...... money is nothing
Everything free for YOU
RE: Cash for hair
Find a host who will buy a couple of merkins and glue them under her arms just for you.
RE: Cash for hair
Really? That's weird that you can't find an unshaved European. I thought hairy was more common there. A merkin is meant to be a pussy wig so now she just needs to get one. ;-)
RE: Cash for hair
What do you call a Roman Warrior with hair in his teeth? answer: Gladheateher
RE: Cash for hair
to barbersam;)
you know i never show it, even for a a great sun of money
good luck....
RE: England is out!
Maybe that means that people will take those goddamn flags off their cars now...
RE: England is out!
yes, reason to party. There is a British gentleman who owns a small shop down the street. He was so confident that England would win. He hasn't shut up all week. After the game as a joke some of us got together and we burned down his store. Good Times. The friendly rivalry of football, there is nothing like it!!
RE: England is out!
I agree, wish the whole bloody thing was over, footbal, load of rubbish...
RE: England is out!
not as much as that stupid portugal guys balls....damn i shoulda stamped harder...as for ronaldo...when i see him in the dressing room at old trafford...im gonna lamp him one so hard
RE: England is out!
If Argentina had a decent coach with some balls they would have won easily....
RE: England is out!
hahahahahahahahahaha englands coming home. their coming home their coming home. englands coming home
RE: England is out!
As an Irishman I was more than happy that England lost fluke or no fluke....
The New Samurai:-))
Way back in the time of the samurai, there was a powerful emperor.
This emperor needed a new head samurai. So, he sent out a message to everybody he knew for them to send a message to who they knew, and so forth.
A year passes, and only three people show up: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai. The emperor asks the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai.
The Japanese samurai opens up a matchbox, and out pops a little fly.
WHOOOOOSH. The fly drops dead on the ground in 2 pieces!
The emperor says, "That is very impressive!"
Then the emperor asks the Chinese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Chinese samurai opens up a matchbox and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOOSH. WOOOOOOOSH.
The fly drops dead on the ground in 4 pieces!
The emperor says, "That is really impressive!"
Then the emperor asks the Jewish samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai.
The Jewish samurai thinks, "If it works for the other two..." So the Jewish samurai walks in, opens a matchbox,and out pops a little fly.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHH!
A gust of wind fills the room, but the fly is still buzzing around.
The emperor says in disappointment, "Why is the fly not dead?"
And the Jewish samurai replies - "Look closer, that fly has been circumcised!"
This emperor needed a new head samurai. So, he sent out a message to everybody he knew for them to send a message to who they knew, and so forth.
A year passes, and only three people show up: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai. The emperor asks the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai.
The Japanese samurai opens up a matchbox, and out pops a little fly.
WHOOOOOSH. The fly drops dead on the ground in 2 pieces!
The emperor says, "That is very impressive!"
Then the emperor asks the Chinese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Chinese samurai opens up a matchbox and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOOSH. WOOOOOOOSH.
The fly drops dead on the ground in 4 pieces!
The emperor says, "That is really impressive!"
Then the emperor asks the Jewish samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai.
The Jewish samurai thinks, "If it works for the other two..." So the Jewish samurai walks in, opens a matchbox,and out pops a little fly.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHH!
A gust of wind fills the room, but the fly is still buzzing around.
The emperor says in disappointment, "Why is the fly not dead?"
And the Jewish samurai replies - "Look closer, that fly has been circumcised!"
RE: Happy Birthday Blueboy009
Congratulations Paul!!!!!!!!!!!!
All the BEST is only for YOU
Be nice and never be sad ;)
RE: Happy Birthday Blueboy009
Many thanks for all your messages, would have been better if England had won but still managed to have a good day.
kisses for the girls n beers for the guys.
Paul
kisses for the girls n beers for the guys.
Paul
RE: Dear ANALMASTER from viewer forum
Hello Super Pants!!!
I'm the fresh young supermodel from Utah, I love to learn the ways of pleasure you can share time with me as I stick objects inside the fudge tunnel. Join my dirty fun. Stop by for a kiss (I miss you Banana) or email me at Smiley78041@yahoo.com
I'm the fresh young supermodel from Utah, I love to learn the ways of pleasure you can share time with me as I stick objects inside the fudge tunnel. Join my dirty fun. Stop by for a kiss (I miss you Banana) or email me at Smiley78041@yahoo.com
RE: Dear ANALMASTER from viewer forum
i especially liked the part in ur show when ur head dissapeared up ur arse ......its stuck there ever since
RE: Dear ANALMASTER from viewer forum
How odd, the lingusitc pattern and careful choice of words in the post from "Anonymous" seem to mirror that of a post I recall from "anonymous", several months back..I wonder if Anonymous and anonymous could in fact be the same person. I have been typecast as a conspiracist in the past, but i really think I'm on to something this time....hummmm......
blonde
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?
A: An IN-body experience!
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A: They can't find the zipper.
Q: What will a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A: They chip their teeth.
Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: Cause their balls show!
Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A: It's the only car name they can spell.
Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.
Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.
Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A: Introduces herself.
Q: How can you steal the window seat of a blonde on a plane going to London?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?
A: She fell out of the tree.
Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?
A: An IN-body experience!
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
Q: Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A: They can't find the zipper.
Q: What will a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: Why don't blondes use vibrators?
A: They chip their teeth.
Q: Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A: Cause their balls show!
Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A: It's the only car name they can spell.
Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.
Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.
Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?
A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A: Introduces herself.
Q: How can you steal the window seat of a blonde on a plane going to London?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.
Q: How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?
A: She fell out of the tree.
Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A: Locking the car door.