General Forum
Football question
I'm new to the game, so maybe my opinion ain't the best, but I have to say that ending a game on penalty kicks just seems like such a let down. It seems like it flushes everything of the entire game played down the toilet and decides a winner just by the luck of a goal keeper deciding whether to dive left or right.
What do all of you long time fans of the game think? Whould it be better to just keep playing until an actual goal is scored, no matter how long it extends the game?
Oh, and sorry to all the English fans... Seeing all those sad English faces in the stands in Gelsenkirchen kinda sucked. :(
What do all of you long time fans of the game think? Whould it be better to just keep playing until an actual goal is scored, no matter how long it extends the game?
Oh, and sorry to all the English fans... Seeing all those sad English faces in the stands in Gelsenkirchen kinda sucked. :(
RE: Football question
I think they should have to score a touchdown to win the game. It is football afterall. ;-)
RE: Football question
No disrespect meant towards fans of Portugal... Good luck to Portugal against France or Brazil. :)
I was more just curious about what more knowledgable fans of football/soccer think about having a winner of a game decided in such a way.
For Argentina to have lost in the same way just yesterday, it made me wonder if there might be a better way for such an important tournament.
I was more just curious about what more knowledgable fans of football/soccer think about having a winner of a game decided in such a way.
For Argentina to have lost in the same way just yesterday, it made me wonder if there might be a better way for such an important tournament.
RE: Football question
Until 1970 teams were playing another match after a draw game or decided the winner with a coin.
In our fast present life we dont have time play another match and decide the winner with a coin...hmmm, sorry to say, but thats su*ks. So i agree with penalties after 120 mins playing. Of course players need lot of luck for penalties also, but at least they have more chance, not only one (like team had earlier with a coin).
In our fast present life we dont have time play another match and decide the winner with a coin...hmmm, sorry to say, but thats su*ks. So i agree with penalties after 120 mins playing. Of course players need lot of luck for penalties also, but at least they have more chance, not only one (like team had earlier with a coin).
RE: Football question
Yeah, I guess penalty kicks are the way to go after 120 minutes. With how tired the players must become, I'm sure playing any longer than that wouldn't nearly be as entertaining. Definitely better than the flip of a coin to decide the winner, for sure.
When I asked, I had in mind how exciting hockey games can be in the North American professional league when they just keep playing period after period in the playoffs until a winning goal is scored - Of course the same hocky players aren't on the ice and playing continually all that time, so it's not really fair to compare. ;)
Anyway, thanks. :)
When I asked, I had in mind how exciting hockey games can be in the North American professional league when they just keep playing period after period in the playoffs until a winning goal is scored - Of course the same hocky players aren't on the ice and playing continually all that time, so it's not really fair to compare. ;)
Anyway, thanks. :)
RE: Football question
There have existed "golden goal" and even "silver goal" in extra times if i remember well. These or penalties are better? Dont know.
dear "romanian host"
Was your offer serious, or were you just trying to start a controversial thread?
RE: dear "romanian host"
i too have a serious interst in finding something special from eastern europe but would prefer to sponser here to canada
any interest you know how to contact me
any interest you know how to contact me
RE: dear "romanian host"
I don't have messenger on that ID - only mail
and i understand what you mean by this message - i must say i would never jump at the first girl, but i wanted you to know that the POSSIBILITY of getting together is there - at least a coffee is aleays nice to find common thoughts
good luck to you dear - i'm serious
and i understand what you mean by this message - i must say i would never jump at the first girl, but i wanted you to know that the POSSIBILITY of getting together is there - at least a coffee is aleays nice to find common thoughts
good luck to you dear - i'm serious
RE: dear "romanian host"
Don't give up on serious posts - makes a welcome change from vacuous jokes and put-down one-liners, usually from eponymous anonymous. Kisses to Romanaian host :)
RE: dear "romanian host"
agreed....if you truly want for yourself something more, never let the comments of doubters or pessimists or cynics get to you.....it's best not to pay them any mind at all....best of luck to you dear romanian host:)
RE: dear "romanian host"
me too, like other canadians, we are a sorry lot, in desperate need of a mail order bride and will jump at the chance to speak or touch a real woman. I've been wanking so much my right hand is permanently shaped like a claw.
RE: dear "romanian host"
hey there Romainian Host. please ccmail me your id here so we can chat. i too am interested in meeting someone special from here.
To "romanian host"
Hey! why not grow some body hair and ccmail BarberSam. He sounds like a serious guy who is ready to commit and can handle a serious relationship.
RE: dear "romanian host" (again)
Once these guys figure out how to sneak you into the country and their homes without their wife and kids finding out...they will we be right back to you. If you read about any sudden family masacres in the midwest....I would be scared....very scared.
Jingle Bells :P
The BELLS r ringing, dinga ling a ling...
Snow is falling, dinga ling aling.
Ohhhhh shake it baby ding aling aling...
Is it Christmas already 8-0
Feck have i been sleeping that long
What about this then....
You can ring my BBBEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Ring my BELL
Ohhhh ringa ding ding :D
I think i took to many streoids this morning.. Or was it hormoids.. Confused now lemme check.. :P WWWWWooooooooohhhooooooooooooo :P
Did someone slip me a Mickey r something.. Maybe it was a Jimmie... SSSSHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
For feck sake... Now where did it go to.... I lost my bell now :(
GingerAle did u take it :D
Shoot me with your rythme stick Ginger :D
Sleeping now zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Snow is falling, dinga ling aling.
Ohhhhh shake it baby ding aling aling...
Is it Christmas already 8-0
Feck have i been sleeping that long
What about this then....
You can ring my BBBEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Ring my BELL
Ohhhh ringa ding ding :D
I think i took to many streoids this morning.. Or was it hormoids.. Confused now lemme check.. :P WWWWWooooooooohhhooooooooooooo :P
Did someone slip me a Mickey r something.. Maybe it was a Jimmie... SSSSHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
For feck sake... Now where did it go to.... I lost my bell now :(
GingerAle did u take it :D
Shoot me with your rythme stick Ginger :D
Sleeping now zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
RE: Canada day
1st of july for canadians...4th for americans...i see its a great month for new world's inhabitants:PP
RE: Canada day
Hey,
in Russia, every day is fantastic and holiday........
Enjoy every minute in your LIFE ;)
btw, cogratulations Canada
in Russia, every day is fantastic and holiday........
Enjoy every minute in your LIFE ;)
btw, cogratulations Canada
RE: Canada day
yes i am a proud canadian and glad to be one. Not a frozen waste land but one of the most beautiful countries in the world. Kinda like russian and ukraine women also the most beautiful in the world
RE: Canada day
To dickkibone,
:) thank you (for calling Russian women beautiful)
kisssssssssssss......and hugsssssssss....
:) thank you (for calling Russian women beautiful)
kisssssssssssss......and hugsssssssss....
One for INYF :-p
10 things a man would do if they had a vagina for the day:
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.
Bells!!!!!
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."
She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."
She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"
A Proud Texan
A Texan bought a round of drinks for all in the bar and said that his wife had just produced "a typical Texas baby" weighing twenty pounds.
Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth?"
"Yup, shore am!"
"How much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answered, "Ten pounds."
The bartender said, "Why, what happened? He did weigh twenty pounds."
The proud Texas father said, "Jest had him circumcised!"
Two weeks later he returned to the bar. The bartender recognized him and asked, "Aren't you the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed twenty pounds at birth?"
"Yup, shore am!"
"How much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answered, "Ten pounds."
The bartender said, "Why, what happened? He did weigh twenty pounds."
The proud Texas father said, "Jest had him circumcised!"
The Tiger
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."
The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."
The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods."
"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"
"Yeah."
"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."
The husband and wife then make passionate love.
When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
"What are you doing?" asks the wife.
The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.
The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it again."
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.
When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole."
The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."
The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods."
"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"
"Yeah."
"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."
The husband and wife then make passionate love.
When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
"What are you doing?" asks the wife.
The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.
The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it again."
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.
When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole."
Where are all the posts
Guys come on. When I wake up on a Saturday all tired and bleary eyed I like to have something light to read while I wake up with my morning coffee.
But only one post on here since I went to bed :(
Thank you bitch at least you made a little bit of an effort.
I want to see a huge improvement for next weekend :)
But only one post on here since I went to bed :(
Thank you bitch at least you made a little bit of an effort.
I want to see a huge improvement for next weekend :)
RE: Where are all the posts
I almost posted something just for you INYF, but then I didn't ...
RE: Where are all the posts
Im still sleepy a bit, so my joke for today will arrive a bit later. Sorry:PP
RE: Where are all the posts
well, how about a topic?
"Asians best value for money cos they strip almost immediately"
Discuss and contrast then state your own opinions in not more than 50 words.
"Asians best value for money cos they strip almost immediately"
Discuss and contrast then state your own opinions in not more than 50 words.
RE: Where are all the posts
so what is your point? contribute rather than just criticise. I chose the topic cos it is deliberately provocative. I think it's nonesense cos each host is an individual. and I wanted INYF to enjoy his early morning cofee! :) Jeez!!!
A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie. The genie says "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes."
The man says "Great. I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want 1 Billion dollars in a Swiss bank account."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand. He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and abright red brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him. He continues, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.
Happy Birthday Tanya
Hi Tanya
Have a great birthday tomorrow :)
Had to say it now as I am just about to leave and will be drinking all day tomorrow. Oh well it's a tough life :(
You make sure you get drunk, eat too much and have a fantastic time.
Joe xxxxx
Have a great birthday tomorrow :)
Had to say it now as I am just about to leave and will be drinking all day tomorrow. Oh well it's a tough life :(
You make sure you get drunk, eat too much and have a fantastic time.
Joe xxxxx
RE: Happy Birthday Tanya
Happy birthday Tanya :)
Well, I just wanted to send some kisses to AssMan :)
Well, I just wanted to send some kisses to AssMan :)
RE: Happy Birthday Tanya
Now that I am posting a happy birthday Tanya can I have some kisses also Psy? *Big Grin*
Thank you Psy
The kisses were very much appreciated :P
Great to see you still here :)
and nice to see you around too anon4u. (but no kisses for you from me).
Great to see you still here :)
and nice to see you around too anon4u. (but no kisses for you from me).
RE: Branson, Missouri
Well before you form an opinion on any topic you must first ask yourself WWBD?
WWBD? = What Would Barbara Do?
WWBD? = What Would Barbara Do?
RE: Branson, Missouri
Barbara would turn facing away from me, lift her skirt, drop her panties and bend over so I could fuck her from behind like the dog she is.
RE: what age is ok for u to marry?
marry when you feel its right. marry because you have found someone.
who cares what age you are. if its that important, its not worth it.
who cares what age you are. if its that important, its not worth it.
RE: what age is ok for u to marry?
I would say that it is up to each individual but I would think that 25 - 30 is a good age to get married. Although for me personally I would go for 99 :D
As for your second question I think cc should let Psy post a reply and then it should remain as the first post in this forum forever.
As for your second question I think cc should let Psy post a reply and then it should remain as the first post in this forum forever.
RE: what age is ok for u to marry?
Sorry to dissapoint you, Psy had some other stuff on her mind lately :)
There's no right age to get married.. there's even no need to get married ;)
There's no right age to get married.. there's even no need to get married ;)
RE: what age is ok for u to marry?
Sure 25 is a good age. Do you want to get married to me? :)
RE: what age is ok for u to marry?
25+ years old or older, at such an age both should be mature enough.
2nd..
as long as both you and member are completely honest, and sign a pre-nup so you get half his money without long legal fight if he turns out to be an a$$hole !!!!!
2nd..
as long as both you and member are completely honest, and sign a pre-nup so you get half his money without long legal fight if he turns out to be an a$$hole !!!!!
RE: what age is ok for u to marry?
I don't think it is a magic number. It depends on the maturity of both parties. Their ability to commit to each other...to remain faithful...to be able to support each other both financially and emotionally....that can happen at any age...or at different ages for both man and woman.
The truth about beer:-))
Yesterday, after extensive testing, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones... yes, it's true.
To prove their theory, the scientists had 100 men consume 12 bottles of beer.
They then observed that 100% of them:
1: Gained weight.
2: Talked excessively without making sense.
3: Became emotional.
4: Called home just to see if anyone called.
5: Couldn't drive.
6: Went to the bathroom in groups.
7: Rearranged the furniture for no apparent reason.
No further testing is planned.
To prove their theory, the scientists had 100 men consume 12 bottles of beer.
They then observed that 100% of them:
1: Gained weight.
2: Talked excessively without making sense.
3: Became emotional.
4: Called home just to see if anyone called.
5: Couldn't drive.
6: Went to the bathroom in groups.
7: Rearranged the furniture for no apparent reason.
No further testing is planned.
RE: The truth about beer:-))
Today, after extensive testing, scientists understood they were mistaken cos they drunk too much beer yesterday.Actually beer have male hormones...
To prove their theory, the scientists had 10000 women consume 1200 bottles of beer.
They then observed that 100% of them:
1: Started to use slang and turned rude after they drunk.
2: Talked excessively and too much without making sense and actions, like men allways hope for their wives.
3: Couldn't find any way out themselves till someone from side remind them
4: Called home just to check if their partner still alone there.
5: Started to use their fists without any reason
6: Forgot what is it bathroom, and so on at all.Its interesting how they were able to remember about themselves
7: Forgot about their family and went on an went on to drink
No further testing is planned.
To prove their theory, the scientists had 10000 women consume 1200 bottles of beer.
They then observed that 100% of them:
1: Started to use slang and turned rude after they drunk.
2: Talked excessively and too much without making sense and actions, like men allways hope for their wives.
3: Couldn't find any way out themselves till someone from side remind them
4: Called home just to check if their partner still alone there.
5: Started to use their fists without any reason
6: Forgot what is it bathroom, and so on at all.Its interesting how they were able to remember about themselves
7: Forgot about their family and went on an went on to drink
No further testing is planned.
RE: The truth about beer:-))
6th point? Sorry, im still drunk, cant do a sum in my head right now, but i will try again later:PP
RE: The truth about beer:-))
New results:
Science has dicovered that the reason beer goes through you so quickly is that it doesn't have to change colors.
Science has dicovered that the reason beer goes through you so quickly is that it doesn't have to change colors.
The Immigrant
The Immigrant
This is probably one of the best 'jokes' that I've read in a while...and the truest.
A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, and giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care and free education!"
But the passer-by says "You are mistaken, I am Mexican".
The man goes on and encounters another passer-by. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America!"
The person says "I no American, I Vietnamese."
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says "Thank you for the wonderful America!"
That person puts up his hand and says "I am from Middle East, I am not an American!"
He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you an American?"
She says, "No, I am from Russia!"
So he is puzzled, and asks her, Where are all the Americans?
The Russian lady looks at her watch, shrugs, and says... Probably at work
This is probably one of the best 'jokes' that I've read in a while...and the truest.
A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, and giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care and free education!"
But the passer-by says "You are mistaken, I am Mexican".
The man goes on and encounters another passer-by. "Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America!"
The person says "I no American, I Vietnamese."
The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says "Thank you for the wonderful America!"
That person puts up his hand and says "I am from Middle East, I am not an American!"
He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you an American?"
She says, "No, I am from Russia!"
So he is puzzled, and asks her, Where are all the Americans?
The Russian lady looks at her watch, shrugs, and says... Probably at work
Hosts to save me time when entering text chat please could you .............
...... all post in here when you last had sex :)
Oh and if you don't mind could you also let me know if you do anal :D
Oh and if you don't mind could you also let me know if you do anal :D
RE: Hosts to save me time when entering text chat please could you .............
Well I actually got a bit of a fright when I read Nick's post as I too last had sex at 11.20pm Friday 13th August 1983 (although being a really sad bastard I have to report that 13th August 1983 was actually a Saturday. But hey it must have been a good night for Nick). Then I remembered that the person I was with did anal so phew.
And probably no to the second question.
Just to prove that I do have a caring and sensitive side did you and Emma (and all the other wonderful girls) have a nice night out on Emma's birthday Gala?
That's three questions you have to answer now :)
And probably no to the second question.
Just to prove that I do have a caring and sensitive side did you and Emma (and all the other wonderful girls) have a nice night out on Emma's birthday Gala?
That's three questions you have to answer now :)
RE: Hosts to save me time when entering text chat please could you .............
11.20pm. Friday 13th August 1983.
No
No
RE: to dd
well... i think they ask that coz they want to know how horny you can get with them.. coz if you haven't had sex for long, you might be turned on just at once, and if you have just had it, you are relaxed and satisfied and gonna fake your horniness with them. and tho they know you have lots of viewers every day and cant get horny with every one of them, they still dont' like faking i think (from what i read in the forums)
so dont' get mad with their questions coz sometimes we also ask questions which can p*ss them off :)
good luck
so dont' get mad with their questions coz sometimes we also ask questions which can p*ss them off :)
good luck
RE: to TRIKSY
chat hosts do not get horny at all, why would they? Just coz some old, fat, balding viewer says "I've got a hard on" do you really think that does it for them? wake up guys!
RE: 4 my guys - Im back :)
I'm not blocked so that rules out her blocking you cos your a pervert :D
RE: 4 my guys - Im back :)
So I would assume you will be leaving CC for a legitimate job? Or perhaps between your degree and what you learned here you will go into politics?
RE: 4 my guys - Im back :)
to WTF :)
Im still in thoughts what to choose.
But politics is a kind of prostitution (in Russia, I mean ; )
This summer will show me way, I hope
kisses to all
xoxox
Im still in thoughts what to choose.
But politics is a kind of prostitution (in Russia, I mean ; )
This summer will show me way, I hope
kisses to all
xoxox
All of the pics from the Sex-Worldcup site (www.sex-worldcup2006.com) are collected here:
---
http://worldcup.bulletinboardforum.com/cheerleaders.php
Naked girls bodypainted in football colours :D
---
http://worldcup.bulletinboardforum.com/cheerleaders.php
Naked girls bodypainted in football colours :D
Blonde Shoots Herself
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
Well, I was trying to commit suicide, the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"
"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."
"And then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"And then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
Well, I was trying to commit suicide, the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"
"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."
"And then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."
"And then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."
The bride tells her husband
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!
:)
Bill Clinton dies and is on his way to Hell. At Hell's gate, he meets
Satan. Satan tells Clinton that Hell is full, but that Clinton
will be given the choice of who he will REPLACE forever in Hell.
Three doors appear before Clinton. The first door opens.
Behind the door is Newt Gingrich. He's being worked over with a blow
torch. Upon seeing Newt in this predicament, Clinton cringes and says
"That looks painful. I don't think this is for me."
The second door opens. Behind door #2 is Ted Kennedy. His skin is
being stripped off with a pair of pliers. Grimacing at the bloody
scene, Clinton again says "I don't think this is for me."
The third door opens and behind it is Ken Starr. He is naked and
bound hand and foot. Kneeling before him is Monica Lewinsky, doing what
she does best. "I can handle that!" Clinton proclaims enthusiastically.
"Very well," says Satan. "Monica, you may go."
Satan. Satan tells Clinton that Hell is full, but that Clinton
will be given the choice of who he will REPLACE forever in Hell.
Three doors appear before Clinton. The first door opens.
Behind the door is Newt Gingrich. He's being worked over with a blow
torch. Upon seeing Newt in this predicament, Clinton cringes and says
"That looks painful. I don't think this is for me."
The second door opens. Behind door #2 is Ted Kennedy. His skin is
being stripped off with a pair of pliers. Grimacing at the bloody
scene, Clinton again says "I don't think this is for me."
The third door opens and behind it is Ken Starr. He is naked and
bound hand and foot. Kneeling before him is Monica Lewinsky, doing what
she does best. "I can handle that!" Clinton proclaims enthusiastically.
"Very well," says Satan. "Monica, you may go."
dumpster diving
Would you consider it?
Have you done it?
If you have done it, what did you take?
To the computer people out there, chances
are you have done the dumpster routine.
Did you ever act on the information you found?
Or, did you go for equipment?
Have you done it?
If you have done it, what did you take?
To the computer people out there, chances
are you have done the dumpster routine.
Did you ever act on the information you found?
Or, did you go for equipment?