General Forum

Hey people - It's all wel and good that you hire a lot of new girls in non-adult categories, but if they can't do a good strip or sex-show they have GOT to speak passable English. If we have to tutor them and work so damn hard to understand them then you should put them at the lowest minimum. I believe it's $0.35.

pants

Did you ever notice how even the hottest and most interesting strings of posts die when they go over to the second page?

What are your top 5 favorite movies?
Mine are;

Pulp Fiction (It's a chopper baby)
Platoon (You ain't a firing squad you piece of shit!)
Animal House (Cucumbers can be quite sensual, don't you agree?)
Gladiator (Are you not entertained?!)
Dumb and Dumber (I desperately want to make love to a school boy)

It's all true. It took 64 years, but today shortly after I awoke I noticed my hands appeared darker. Sure enough, upon further examination curly black hairs are beginning to grow out of the palms of my hands.
This won't slow me down...what doesn't kill me just makes me rub myself harder!!! Even Jesus can't stop Harry Seat!!!

Hello all the ladies, I am here now for you. I like your breasts. Thank you for your breasts. You can not be unhappy, I'm yours, Jack Mango. The ladies talk about the bigness and it's so big when im doing my business. So now share with me at no charge would nice too...your happy face will be price enough for me. I'm so pointy for you :)

white

n/a

Why is it in the viewer's forum you see words like "dickhead", "numbnuts", "idiot", etc.
And when you go in comm chat it's 10 minutes of "hi" "hello""how are you"?

Well done reading!!!

n/a

A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith to see about enlarging her breasts. Dr. Smith told her, "Everyday after your shower, rub your chest and say, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies."

She did this faithfully for several months and it worked! She grew great boobs!

One morning she was running late, got on the bus and realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't do the little rhyme, she got right out there in the middle aisle of the bus and said, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies."

A guy sitting nearby asked, "Are you a patient of Dr. Smith's by any chance?"

"Why, yes I am. How did you know?"

He leaned closer, winked and whispered, "Hickory dickory dock".

A mother hears a humming sound coming from her daughters bedroom,so she opens the door and finds her daughter naked on the bed,working a vibrator."What the hell are you doing?"the mom asks.

"I'm 35,and still live at home with my parents.This is the closest I"ll ever get to a husband,"replies the daughter.

Later that week the father hears the humming and finds his daughter with the vibrator."What are you doing?"he asks.

"I'm 35,and still live with my parents,this is the closest I'll ever get to a husband,"replies the daughter.

A few days later the mother humming coming from the den,so she bursts into the room and sees her husband on the couch,watching TV with the vibrator buzzing away next to him."What in God's name are you doing?"she asks

"Watching the game with my son-in-law."

n/a

Why is it so (relatively) rare for women to masturbate? I mean, guys start at a young age usually, and even do it when away from girlfriends or wives for long periods of time. But, it seems that so few women do it.

Even my gf, who I've been away from for the past few weeks, when asked, told me she hadn't even though she has felt horny.

Whats up with that?

n/a

Last two then I will shut up for a while;

While walking through the woods near Boulder , Colorado , a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing the 1st man inquire of the 2nd man, "Just out of curiosity, what the devil are you doing?"

"I'm listening to the music of the tree," the 2nd man replied.

"You gotta be kiddin' me!"

"No, would you like to give it a try?"

Understandably curious, the 1st man says, "Well, OK ..." So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it. At which point the other guy, slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry and car keys, then stripped him naked and left.

Two hours later, another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked, "What the hell happened to you?"

He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there. When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and said, "This just ain't gonna be your day, cupcake



Joke 2


A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing!" he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal to the metal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw the highway patrol behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. "I can get away from him - no problem!" thought the elderly gentleman as he floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then
120 mph.

Suddenly, he thought,"What on earth am I doing? I'm too old for this nonsense!", pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the Trooper to catch up with him.

Pulling in behind him, the Trooper walked up to the driver's side of the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you w! ere driving 120 miles per hour that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The man, looking very seriously at the Trooper, said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day Sir", said the Trooper.

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.
They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put into organizing the display.
There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge, enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf. She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large a collection of Teddy Bears, but doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.
They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after a while, she finds herself thinking, "Oh my God! Maybe, this guy could be the one! Maybe he could be the future father my children?" She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly.
They continue to kiss, the passion builds, and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love. She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known. After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy, they are lying there together in the afterglow.
The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?"

The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says, "Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf."

I know this is a bit early, but this is for those of you that dont like sprouts with your Christmas dinner :P http://www.eyegas.com/xmas05/
Have fun!

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour, surgical procedure.
A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around.

Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir!!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely...

A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c kkk? :D

If a person with below average intelligence is locked in a soundproof room and someone was standing on the other side, would they be able to hear you yelling? Yes or no?

n/a

n/a

oh why--tell me why--i have to sit in a room full of things that are stupid and not funny-when it should be a room to find who wants to have cybersex with someone--and when you thought about the time you found a host--they answer a member who is just there to get attention by talking silly-stupid--and dumb things--but i quess thats ok, because the only way they can save there money by not going pvt-
so keep up the good work-brock-fester-davethedaverave whatever your name is

n/a