General Forum
joke (probably crap but made me chuckle)
a 7 yr old and a 4 yr old r upstairs in thier bedroom.."u know what" says the 7 yr old..."i think its about time we strted swearing"...to which the 4 yr old nodded his head in excited approval..."when we go downstairs for breakfast im goin to swear first then u swear after me ok?"..."ok ok" says the 4 yr old and downstairs they go...the mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 7 yr old what he would like for breakfast..."i will have some of that weetabix shit" replies the 7 yr old...SMACK!!! he flies out of his chair tumbles across the floor gets up goes running to his room cryin...she then turns to her 4 yr old son and says with a stern voice "and what would u like for breakfast young man"..."i dont know" he blubbers..."but it wont b fuckin weetabix"
RE: for the memory of Destony
I didnt know her...sorry to hear about it...my condolences to her family and friends...R.I.P
RE: for the memory of Destony
That is very very sad news - I did not know her but my thoughts are with her family and friends in this difficult time. It is tragic when such a young life is cut short far too soon :-(
RE: for the memory of Destony
i had chatted with her but not really knew her.how tragic.may she rest in peace.
RE: for the memory of Destony
I didn't know her either, but this is the second host that I know of that died. It as indeed a very sad time. I'll light a candle for her.
RE: for the memory of Destony
I wish her family peace.
Remember, life is fragile, live this week as if it was your last.
Remember, life is fragile, live this week as if it was your last.
RE: for the memory of Destony
how do we all really know the truth in here, about was has happened to these hosts and members? I remember a simililar thing in the past, and after a full thread of condolences, the "deceased member" appeared later in the forum to say.........."im still here"
RE: for the memory of Destony
i'm in shock.what a tragic waste.only the good die young.she was a good person :((((
RE: for the memory of Destony
I did not know her either but after reading this news, I feel like I lost a member of my own family.
RE: for the memory of Destony
We had a member...Sir Wanks a Lot....a long time CC member. About a year...maybe more....he announced here he had pancreatic cancer...advanced..and terminal. Could have been bull. It sounded legit. He posted all the time and new a lot about the hosts at the time so he was known. Anyway, there was never a mention of him after than post thread. I asked a few times. Nothing. Probably dead. As you can see nobody cared. You could leave tomorrow and CC and you CC "friends" would only miss the money you spent. But dont worry there are more suckers every day.
RE: for the memory of Destony
if there is no one to make the announcement how will anyone know? people always come and go without fanfare
RE: for the memory of Destony
Because they didn't inform you means they don't care?
More trash spoken by a true anon poster. You could have started a new thread for your pathetic load of garbage, then we could all just ignore you, you schmuck!
RIP Destony
More trash spoken by a true anon poster. You could have started a new thread for your pathetic load of garbage, then we could all just ignore you, you schmuck!
RIP Destony
RE: for the memory of Destony
I didn't know Natalia but I have chatted to a friend of hers I know she was a real sweet young lady who in a fair world would have had a great life Its very sad.
Shouldn't cc remove her home page it seems disrespectful to have everything still there :-(
Shouldn't cc remove her home page it seems disrespectful to have everything still there :-(
RE: for the memory of Destony - don't remove
no, they shouldn't remove - they should put in a spcial place so she is not forgotten - nothing in her archives is rude or nasty so it is a nice way to remember her
RE: for the memory of Destony
I knew Natalia, but had not seen her for some time. She will be sadly missed as a warm, caring person.
RE: for the memory of Destony
I am very sorry. It makes me remember how wothwhile the figt of life is! Lets all make the best of it! Dear Natalia, I didnt know u, all hte best to you up there!
RE: for the memory of Destony
I didn't know her, but my sympathy goes to her family and friends.
RE: for the memory of Destony
I remember Sir Wanks. He was a class act. Hope he is in the big video porn site in the sky.
RE: for the memory of Destony
A sad lose - I wish her peace and thinking of her family and friends.
RE: for the memory of Destony
I think it's sad when someone passes on because, although most of us in CC will never meet or even chat, we are aware of each other here or in the comm chat and we become a kind of family. I know some of you sarcastic posters will decry that.
RE: for the memory of Destony
If her studio has any sensitivity, it will not recycle the screen name for at least months if ever. It would be better that the account be closed than the name reassigned to someone else. It would be unfair to Natalia's memory and unfair to the new person who would unknowingly inherit the name.
RE: for the memory of Destony
the account should NOT be closed - it should be turned into an on-line memorial
RE: for the memory of Destony
I rarely have long chats around here anymore, but my last chat with her was almost 2 hours. Quite a special lady, and a joy to spend time with. You're missed dear.
RIP
RIP
sexual fantasy
what's your sexual fantasy?is it something normal that you just haven't tried yet?or is it someting outlandish that you would never act on but still turns you on thinking about it? mine would be to have a go at a hot and sexy TS just one time to see what it would be like.
RE: sexual fantasy
hmmmm so many to chose from but i guess a good one would be to have sex in an elevator.i've always wanted to do that and damnit,someday i will.lol
RE: Re: paco316
do you want to do it going up or down...up or down...oh shit now i'm excited!!
RE: Re: paco316
well lollie,what are we waiting for?let's go to a highrise building,hop in the elevator,and get busy.on the way up,on the way down.damn,now i'm getting turned on.gotta go now.LOL
RE: sexual fantasy
Ahh saw my name mentioned there so thought is about me hehehe ...obvious is just about a sexual fantasy,,ah still about me i could be one ..or i couldnt ...damn i better drop it after few bacardi breezer don't know myself what am i talking about loool
RE: sexual fantasy
My sexual fantasy was to go back in time an hour and then have have hot monkey anal sex with my slightly younger self ... I actually got to do this last week but it turned out not to be so much fun :( It seems that my asshole is not big enough for the Big Banana and I think I stretched something that shouldn't oughta be stretched ... I've been walking rather strangely ever since. Now that's what I call a paradox!! Damn glad I'm not gay that's all I can say!!!
RE: sexual fantasy
that's a interesting way of looking at it ... in my case I was on both ends so maybe I'm bi ...
RE: sexual fantasy
yes.TS does mean transexual. just something taboo about it that turns me on for some reason. would love to have a sexy tranny just once.
Where has Amelly gone?
Hi folks
I'm just wondering what has happened to amelly anyone know?
She was/is probably one of my all time favorite girls, any news would be good
Bull
I'm just wondering what has happened to amelly anyone know?
She was/is probably one of my all time favorite girls, any news would be good
Bull
Sex in Las Vegas:-))
A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags. "Where are you going?" he asked.
"To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $400 to do what I do for you for free!"
The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing his bags. "What do you think you are doing?" she screamed.
"Going to Las Vegas with you... I want to see how you live on $800 a year!"
"To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $400 to do what I do for you for free!"
The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing his bags. "What do you think you are doing?" she screamed.
"Going to Las Vegas with you... I want to see how you live on $800 a year!"
Sex in the dark
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every Time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . you explain the kids."
Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.
She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.
She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "how could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"
The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . you explain the kids."
new for men
women have the wonder bra now an australian company has answered the call for men with the"wonderjock".it has no padding but cupping a guys package to show it to the best affect. view www.aussiebum.com then click new releases :--))
RE: Moon is beautiful
You have a cheek. Your post was infinitely more boring.
Why don't you follow your own advice and take a rest - a permanent one.
Why don't you follow your own advice and take a rest - a permanent one.
RE: Moon is beautiful
Ever think when you are looking at the full moon it is the same moon that your favorites hosts are looking at or looked at depending on geography? Ahh...so romatic....gag.
It's actually today isn't it????
Jiverman hun ...don't know u personal but i saw your post message yesterday and how everybody jumped to tell u an early happy birthday...well i was waiting my turn and here it is "Happy Birthday!" have a wonderful day darling x x x
to anon
you really want to know that bad abut me why dont you just ask me yourself but i willl be a nice guy and i will tell you here i lost my real family a few years ago and when i come here a meet alot of very nice people and after time they became my new family so there are you happy now
RE: to anon
is that not the point on an adult site to "seduce" . if trevor has many "girlfriends" here so what ! (maybe ur jealous ) .
RE: to anon
We all know what you are trevor. I will not disclose this though as admin will no doubt block it
RE: to anon
well anon if you are so sure of me why cant you tell all of us who you really are or are you afraid on how much damage will be done on you from everyone else all i have to say about you is you are the most useless person i have ever met in my entire life
RE: to anon
don't worry about ppl who don't like you, they don't matter anyways...if they spend their time concerning themselves with your life, they must have too much time on their hands...pathetic if you ask me...
trever you are awesome
trever you are awesome
RE: to anon
** you are the most useless person i have ever met in my entire life **
You need to get out more.
You need to get out more.
RE: Friendship
That's what I was told.. but how come you need to be friends with someone before being lovers? Does that mean your relationship goes to a lower level?
RE: Friendship
lollie u r right. Your love grows if it develops into friendship. Hence we first try to make friends before getting into love. We r afraid if we fall into love first, we may not be successful, but if ur love develops out of friendship then its on a more stong footing. So its love again that leads to friendship. You dont make a friend irrespective of the gender if u dont like(love) the person. Do you?
RE: how i can explain that?
i guess u dont have to explain that to someone.........it is not my world, but when its good for u.........why not doing it.
Everyone has to find his own way and we should be more tolerant about other ways of life.
Everyone has to find his own way and we should be more tolerant about other ways of life.
RE: how i can explain that?
We're all different and if they can't understand that, they have a problem.. You shouldn't mind them, really, it's your life, your prefference, as long as you're not imposing your sexual prefferences to them ( as in having sex with them) I don't see what right they would have to complain..
So, do whatever you like, don't mind them :)
So, do whatever you like, don't mind them :)
RE: how i can explain that?
do what makes you happy.
tell your friends this completes your emptiness, and pissoff .
never forget...
we are all animals in a zoo.
and your the main attraction in this area.
stay safe and
spank yourself once for me (K)
tell your friends this completes your emptiness, and pissoff .
never forget...
we are all animals in a zoo.
and your the main attraction in this area.
stay safe and
spank yourself once for me (K)
When Bert met Flo
Bert met Flo in a bar one night and began buying her drinks.
They hit it off pretty well and soon Bert suggested they go to
his apartment for some extracurricular activity.
Well it wasn't long before they found themselves in bed making
passionate love. As they were making love though, Bert noticed
that Flo's toes would curl up as he was thrusting in and out.
When they were done, Bert laid back on the bed and said, "I
must of been pretty good tonight. I noticed your toes curling
up when I was going in and out."
Flo looked at him and smiled. "That usually happens when you
forget to remove my pantyhose!"
They hit it off pretty well and soon Bert suggested they go to
his apartment for some extracurricular activity.
Well it wasn't long before they found themselves in bed making
passionate love. As they were making love though, Bert noticed
that Flo's toes would curl up as he was thrusting in and out.
When they were done, Bert laid back on the bed and said, "I
must of been pretty good tonight. I noticed your toes curling
up when I was going in and out."
Flo looked at him and smiled. "That usually happens when you
forget to remove my pantyhose!"
RE: language barrier
I don't think most American and other English speaking members appreciate how difficult t is for host to speak in English. I dont know about you but our high school spanish, french or german could barely get us a beer. Many of the girls hre speak pretty damn good English. Sure some suck. Some use translator programs. But quite a few are good. They should be applauded.
RE: language barrier
He was not insulting you or comparing you to an animal in any bad way, cats are considered "independent" animals, meaning that most of the time, the cat makes you wait till the cat is in the mood for, petting, eating, etc.. sounds like he was trying to make a joke by comparing you to is adoreable cat that makes him wait till the cat is in the mood to do anything he wants it to do. A similar phrase he could had said would be , You want me to wait? Just like we are married already! this phrase is reffering to a wife always taking too long to get ready to got out, and the man always has to wait for the woman. Neither phrase is meant as an insult just a tease or a joke in good humor. He understood what you meant, you did not get the inflection of his teasing you. Text chat does on convey the inflection of voice, in any language that makes it difficult to always understand the intentions of the words typed, just a simple problem of texting and not being able to hear the tone of voice. You took his message as comparing you to a cat literally as meaning an animal, when it should have been understood as comparing you to the personality characteristics of a cat.
RE: language barrier
I admire the way you communicate but I have noticed you do take some comments literally, especially in the comm chat. We don't always speak strict English and use phrases as jokes or simple banter. This is something you learn but don't rely on a translator as it doesn't explain how a phrase is meant.
RE: language barrier
Vera, as you know, I teach English as a foreign language. Students are always asking me how to improve their English. I tell them to do exactly as you, practice with native speakers and invite them to correct you.
You do very well. It's just in the nature of this site that some will take the rise out of you, (make fun of you). Either ignore their occasional unkind comments or invite them to demonstrate their Russian!
Personally, I love the way you use English to express yourself, often much more effectively than some native speakers here.
You have friends here Vera so just remember them when the semi-literate, schoolboy humour gets a bit too much for you. Love and kisses xxx
You do very well. It's just in the nature of this site that some will take the rise out of you, (make fun of you). Either ignore their occasional unkind comments or invite them to demonstrate their Russian!
Personally, I love the way you use English to express yourself, often much more effectively than some native speakers here.
You have friends here Vera so just remember them when the semi-literate, schoolboy humour gets a bit too much for you. Love and kisses xxx
RE: language barrier
You english good. Me like.
I you same.
Take care and remember; the green farmer grows his hay on the other side of the barrier so it taste better than you.
I you same.
Take care and remember; the green farmer grows his hay on the other side of the barrier so it taste better than you.
How did you get involved with CC?
How did you begin with CC? Get recruited by a friend? An ad in a newspaper? A man came up to you in a club? I am curious how you found out about CC and what was involved in your deciision to work here?
RE: How did you get involved with CC?
a stripper from another site refered me. i never saw her again.
and miss her very very much.
and miss her very very much.
RE: How did you get involved with CC?
My sister told me to visit her in "Friends and Family".
You don't want to know what happened in 1-2-1.
You don't want to know what happened in 1-2-1.
RE: How did you get involved with CC?
im often on travel and on my own.........i like to chat.....but most of the sites i visited were much too boring.........so i was googeling for a chat site, entered cc and went to com chat. first i thought its just another crazy site........but i found out that there are a lot of interesting ppl and nice girls........and i still enjoy it to visit com chat when i feel me alone..........its like to visit a pub......u meet friends and new ppl everytime u come in.
thatswhy u will find me in com chat most of my time.
thatswhy u will find me in com chat most of my time.
RE: How did you get involved with CC?
Agree with Frisco. I found via Ask.com, nothing beats CC
RE: How did you get involved with CC?
Found the ad in a newspaper.. I have heard about something like this from an ex-classmate, so it sounded interesting.. went there and met the studio administrator, a great girl and we're still in touch heh.. I started working only from the second day.. and started with another new girl.. It was fun, until they all kinda got to hate me lol
RE: How did you get involved with CC?
I owed my loanshark 15 large and the vig was killing me. He threantend to revoke my walking license if you know what I mean, so here I am.
RE: How did you get involved with CC?
psy!! none can hate you. tell me it is not true................ Always dreaming of you
RE: How did you get involved with CC?
How ironic, now your doing the sucking :))))))))))))))))
RE: How did you get involved with CC?
I seriously can't remember how I came across CC. I think from a Google search for Video Chat.
I do remember visiting several other disappointing sites first.
I am so glad I found this one as I am now happily married to the most special, loving and beautiful of all hosts:)))))))
I do remember visiting several other disappointing sites first.
I am so glad I found this one as I am now happily married to the most special, loving and beautiful of all hosts:)))))))
Chance meeting
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to start a conversation. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man..
He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.
"Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap .......... and stay for breakfast.
They have a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed!! Everything has been SO incredible!!!!
"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No," she replies........."
"You just happened to catch my eye."
He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.
"Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap .......... and stay for breakfast.
They have a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed!! Everything has been SO incredible!!!!
"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"
"No," she replies........."
"You just happened to catch my eye."
RE: guys maybe you can help
Why take yahoo cams from members, if they want to do cam to cam, let them do in the cc room. da dalkingk?
RE: to Boris and Natasha
Seems I have great internet. I pay one price for the entire month, if I use Yahoo cam 24 hours a day I pay the same price.
Europe must be different. Da dalink?
Europe must be different. Da dalink?
RE: to Boris and Natasha
I've had no problem with cam2cam. Some members cannot use cam2cam because they 1) have not installed the small program 2) not using Internet Explorer as browser 3) too impatient to wait until it connects or too lazy to retry if it doesn't connect the first time
RE: to Boris and Natasha
Your comments - Some members cannot use cam2cam because they
1) have not installed the small program
2) not using Internet Explorer as browser
3) too impatient to wait until it connects or too lazy to retry if it doesn't connect the first time
My repsonses
1) installed it so many times I can do it with my eyes closed
2) Do you use IE and have NOT changed any software or hardware on my computer
3) Have tried and tried reconnecting to no avail
I am not a newbie to cam tocam even tho I dont visit loads of hosts
I have posted a msg for CC in technical forum which has had absofuckinglutely no response
I am sincerely pleased that you are able to c2c but the problem is NOT at the members end. CC need to update us on when the fuck they will fix this fucking issue.
I love CC but I am getting fucking pissed off at this!!!
Yes, I realise the next piece of advice I will get is probably to go elsewhere, but I am sure I cannot be the only gumby experiencing this problem.
1) have not installed the small program
2) not using Internet Explorer as browser
3) too impatient to wait until it connects or too lazy to retry if it doesn't connect the first time
My repsonses
1) installed it so many times I can do it with my eyes closed
2) Do you use IE and have NOT changed any software or hardware on my computer
3) Have tried and tried reconnecting to no avail
I am not a newbie to cam tocam even tho I dont visit loads of hosts
I have posted a msg for CC in technical forum which has had absofuckinglutely no response
I am sincerely pleased that you are able to c2c but the problem is NOT at the members end. CC need to update us on when the fuck they will fix this fucking issue.
I love CC but I am getting fucking pissed off at this!!!
Yes, I realise the next piece of advice I will get is probably to go elsewhere, but I am sure I cannot be the only gumby experiencing this problem.
RE: guys maybe you can help
the question wasnt why but how :P
u should really try to get an ISP who offers flat rate, so u dont have to pay for the cam as a download. im sure they are offering different rates for different internet accounts........its worth to ask them.
u should really try to get an ISP who offers flat rate, so u dont have to pay for the cam as a download. im sure they are offering different rates for different internet accounts........its worth to ask them.
RE: guys maybe you can help
Nope, only dial up, and all the monitors are in black and white.
The headphones look like a cosmonaut's spacegear. And cell phone haven't been introduced there yet, they use pagers and beepers.
The headphones look like a cosmonaut's spacegear. And cell phone haven't been introduced there yet, they use pagers and beepers.
RE: to illiana
$500 a month for internet?? Damm, are you stupid? How much do you pay for a cola, $100?
RE: to illiana
A girl from siberia i chat with has this very same issue. She's charged for downloading, a lot.
Be honest with your members and tell them you can't see them because it's too expensive for you.
Be honest with your members and tell them you can't see them because it's too expensive for you.
busty4u
Roxanne the best woman site..... OMG...... she exist I love you wearing skirt black baby !!!!! come for me
RE: real sex
Without question WTF. I think he would be physically amazing and more fun that I ever have before.
RE: real sex
Bbko, his smile and good looks along with his charming personality make me want to squeeze his toothpaste from the bottom if you know what I mean.
hmmm
best lovers -frenchmen, but most big population in China ...... something wrong in this world, isnt it?
RE: hmmm
lol... was the small penis comment about us yellow people? o_O =P
come and see me and you'll see that's just a myth too =P
come and see me and you'll see that's just a myth too =P
aww shit...
Ghost Shit
That's the kind where you feel the shit come out, have shit on the toilet paper, but there is no shit in the toilet.
Clean Shit
The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Second Wave Shit
It happens when you're done shitting, you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realise that you have to shit some more.
Brain Hemorrage Shit
Also known as "Pop a vein in your forehead " shit. the kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.
Sweetcorn shit
Self Explanatory
Log shit
The kind of shit that is so huge that you're afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet brush
Drinkers shit
That is the kind of shit that you have the morning after a long night of drinking - its most noticeable trait is the skid marks left on the bottom of the toilet .
"Gee I wish I could shit" shit
Its the kind of shit where you want to shit, but all you do is sit on the toilet with cramps and fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Shit
That's the one where it hurts so much coming out that you swear it was leaving you sideways.
Wet Cheeks Shit Also known as "The Power dump"
That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
Liquid Shit
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, spashes all over the inside of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.
Mexican Food Shit
A class all its own
The Crowd Pleaser
This shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone.
Mood Enhancer
This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, allowing you to be your old self again.
The Ritual
This shit occurs at the same time time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper
Guiness Book of Records Shit
A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations
The aftershock shit
This shit has an odor so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected.
The Honeymoons over shit
This is any shit created in the presence of another person.
Groaner
A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance
Floater
Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushes
The Star Trek Shit (Also known as the klingon)
A shit which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper
Phantom Shit
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit putting it there
Peek-a-boo-shit
Now you see it, now you don't. this shit is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control
The bombshell
A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to shit (i.e. during love making or a root canal) or you are nowhere near shitting facilities.
Snake Charmer
A long skinny shit which has managed to coil into a frightening position - usually harmless
Olympic Shit This shit occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinkers shit.
That's the kind where you feel the shit come out, have shit on the toilet paper, but there is no shit in the toilet.
Clean Shit
The kind where you shit it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.
Second Wave Shit
It happens when you're done shitting, you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realise that you have to shit some more.
Brain Hemorrage Shit
Also known as "Pop a vein in your forehead " shit. the kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.
Sweetcorn shit
Self Explanatory
Log shit
The kind of shit that is so huge that you're afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet brush
Drinkers shit
That is the kind of shit that you have the morning after a long night of drinking - its most noticeable trait is the skid marks left on the bottom of the toilet .
"Gee I wish I could shit" shit
Its the kind of shit where you want to shit, but all you do is sit on the toilet with cramps and fart a few times.
Spinal Tap Shit
That's the one where it hurts so much coming out that you swear it was leaving you sideways.
Wet Cheeks Shit Also known as "The Power dump"
That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
Liquid Shit
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, spashes all over the inside of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.
Mexican Food Shit
A class all its own
The Crowd Pleaser
This shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone.
Mood Enhancer
This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, allowing you to be your old self again.
The Ritual
This shit occurs at the same time time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper
Guiness Book of Records Shit
A shit so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations
The aftershock shit
This shit has an odor so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected.
The Honeymoons over shit
This is any shit created in the presence of another person.
Groaner
A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance
Floater
Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushes
The Star Trek Shit (Also known as the klingon)
A shit which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper
Phantom Shit
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit putting it there
Peek-a-boo-shit
Now you see it, now you don't. this shit is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control
The bombshell
A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to shit (i.e. during love making or a root canal) or you are nowhere near shitting facilities.
Snake Charmer
A long skinny shit which has managed to coil into a frightening position - usually harmless
Olympic Shit This shit occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinkers shit.
RE: aww shit...
LOL!
you forgot the Shotgun shit!!
A powerful blast of shit that splatters the whole toilet bowl with "slugs" of shit =p
The Firehose : the streamer, the river, a stream of shit spraying from your ass that simultaneously burns ur brown eye =P
you forgot the Shotgun shit!!
A powerful blast of shit that splatters the whole toilet bowl with "slugs" of shit =p
The Firehose : the streamer, the river, a stream of shit spraying from your ass that simultaneously burns ur brown eye =P
RE: aww shit...
Can't believe you left out the Curry Shit paisan!
Burns your anus, splatters the bowl and leaves you totally exhausted afterwards. Oh, and that distinctive embarrassing smell that no amount of spray deodourant will kill for hours!
Burns your anus, splatters the bowl and leaves you totally exhausted afterwards. Oh, and that distinctive embarrassing smell that no amount of spray deodourant will kill for hours!
My Birthday
Just so you are all prepared for the excitement, it's my birthday tomorrow. I don't expect much. I'm very easily pleased:-))
RE: My Birthday
happy birthday jive.glad you don't expect much coz the best i can give you for your special day is to not be here.lol.
RE: My Birthday
Have a good day jivester...hope u manage to get laid...can u remember how to do it still? :p
Happy bday mate...b cool
Happy bday mate...b cool
RE: My Birthday
Who is Jiverman??? Do I know you???
Happy birthday anyway dude, a beer on me.... just the one tho u tight c*nt!!
Happy birthday anyway dude, a beer on me.... just the one tho u tight c*nt!!
RE: My Birthday
My cake would've been better but this one could be ok
http://kibblesnbits3.tripod.com/bday_cake_eanna.gif
Happy birthday Jiverman! :)
http://kibblesnbits3.tripod.com/bday_cake_eanna.gif
Happy birthday Jiverman! :)
Student's answers :)
These are answers, some students have written in their exams...
* A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
* The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends
towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
* Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.
* Clouds are high flying fogs.
* I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.
* Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.
* Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.
* Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
* Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
* H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
*Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.
* Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
* Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
* To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow.
* A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
* The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water tends
towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
* Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.
* Clouds are high flying fogs.
* I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.
* Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.
* Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.
* Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
* Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
* H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
*Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.
* Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
* Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
* To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow.
RE: Student's answers :)
wouldn't mind betting that a lot of those students are some of the anonymous posters here on cc ...LOL!!!