General Forum

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

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2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

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3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

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4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

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5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

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6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!
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7 Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

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8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

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9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

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10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
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This message has been sent to you for good luck in sex.

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3 , Football 5.0 , Hunting and Fishing 7.5 , and Racing 3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User.....

____________ _________ _________ _______
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/ Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 ! and Do Bills 4.2 .

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,

Tech Support

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I have nothing to say on the matter

What is your craziest dream?:) Mine is to become a man for one day and to have fun....lol

I think its so hard because our Ego is so huge in us:) and every human does not like to be wrong....

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Sveta is a wonderful girl to chat with !!! I have spent a great time with her!!

have u ever felt an ass?







Me i don`t like feeling donkies... But i do like touching a girls butt :P hehe

PISS OFF...im just not feelin it today..i will try to get more rude over the next few days

What about this one... Seeing MAYBE some ppl have choosing a girl or guy by looks heres one for u all again....

2 girls/guys sitting behind a partition, u can`t see them only hear their voices, and u have to choose one by their voices and personality only... One is kinda crazy, funny and makes u laugh while the other has a certain kinda voice that draws u to them just by what they say... Which one would u go for..?? :)

Which girl or guy would u pick out of the following.....

There are 2 girls/guys sitting in front of you and u have to choose one just by looks alone... One has a very pretty face but stunning body while the other has a stunning face and average body.. Which would u choose if any...??!! :P

Once upon a time in a galaxy... no its once upon a time in a land far far.... no not right either....lemme think.................................................................................................................................................................Ok i thought enough and can`t come up with anything, seems i better let the story telling to Psy... :D




WAIT. i thought of a story :))

Once upon a time in a far of place lived a little guy in a field full of grass, sheep, cows and a few trees.. He was horny.... The End

On the subject of scratching..

How many times do guys scratch their privates in public.. And what do u girls think when u see a guy do it... Is it gross or just so normal nowadays it doesn`t bother u... ?:P

just thought of this while i was sitting comfy in my chair and all of a sudden i got an itch butt.. :D

How many times or how often do u scratch ur butt...??

There ya go INYF is that silly enough for u.. hahahaha :P

Where are all the new messages on these forums these days :(

Nadeen we need some silly pictures.
Alex we need some jokes (thanks to USA-today & Gregore).
Psy we need one of your little stories.
Koshed we need a stupid question.
Hosts we need to be asked if your pics are good.
Imshy we need you to be rude.
Tisme we need you to fight with someone :P
ABanana we need you to be cheeky

Has this been caused by the fact the post's now fill your name in automatically.

I'm going to have to start posting again and then I will just get into trouble :(

Alright I know technically I already have started again with this post

How much is a contract for a mobile phone in Romania and how many minutes do you get? For instance I pay $30 for 300 minutes in USA.

Bobby went to the doctor and said, "Doctor, I've got a problem, but if you're going to treat it, first you've got to promise not to laugh."
"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional. In over 20 years, I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay then," Bobby said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest penis the doctor has ever seen. Unable to control himself, the doctor fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later, he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.
"I'm so sorry," he said. "I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen."

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home, he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
"Olympic condoms?", she blurts, "What makes them so special?"
"There are three colors," he replies, "Gold, Silver and Bronze."
"What color are you going to wear tonight?", she asks cheekily.
"Gold of course," says the man proudly.
The wife responds, "Why don't you wear Silver, it would be nice if you came second for a change!"

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high, you might want to consider this...


A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for
four hours and then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.

The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.

When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.

"But we didn't use them," the man complains.

"Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager.

He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here," the Manager says.

"But we didn't go to any of those shows, "complains the man again.

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replies.

No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the man replies, "But we didn't use it!"

The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay.

He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. "But sir," he says, "this check is only made out for $50."



"That's correct," says the man. "I charged you $300 for sleeping with my wife."

"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.


"Well, too bad," the man replies. "She was here, and you could have."

I meet this hot blond and after our second date she agreed to do me in doggy and then she spread those luscious legs to let me split her meat and there it was.................a nest of dingleberries ................omg talk about an instant dick.

I lamely said I had a stomach ache and got rid of that chick's no. in my cell...............any others????????

whar a game!!australia 16-new zealand 12 after 7 minutes of golden point.congratulations to both sides

As usual, things were not going well at the United Nations. Thus, many visiting ambassadors had to room together. It just so happened that Vladimir, the Russian Ambassador, and Umballa, the Zambian Ambassador, were sharing a suite. To pass the time, Vladimir introduced his fellow dignitary to the Russian game of roulette. He produced an antique Soviet revolver, and a single bullet. It took a while, but he was finally able to explain the gist of the game to Umballa. Intrigued and excited, Umballa loved the game. By the time the U.N. meeting was over, the two had become fast friends. As they parted company at the airport, Umballa told Vladimir, "One day, you must visit my country, and try our version of your roulette."
A year later, Vladimir was in Zambia, and looked up his old friend. Umballa remembered him, and welcomed him with open arms.
" I have come, my comrade, to try your game."
" Very well. Come with me." Umballa took his friend before six, buck-naked bush women. "Pick one. Any one. And she will give you a blowjob."
" But my friend, where is the danger in this?"
Umballa replied with a toothy smile, "One of them is a cannibal."

ive been a member here for a while and it seems ive fallen into a rut. I seem to keep going to the same hosts over and over again. Anybody got any suggestions to try someone new? preferably offering phone and speaking fluent, or semi fluent, english.
thanks

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