General Forum

first of all--i want to say--im back--well almost--and i want to thank those who care-cool

At stumps. Day two... England... 3/53... :-)

:)

Here is this guy who really takes care of his body; he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day.

One morning, he looks into the mirror and admires his body. He notices that he is really sun tanned all over except one part and he decides to do something about it.

He goes to the beach, completely undresses and buries himself in the sand except for the one part sticking out.

Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach and one looks down and says, "There really is no justice in this world."

The other little old lady says, "What do you mean?"

The first little old lady says, "Look at that."

"When I was 10 years old, I was afraid of it."

"When I was 20 years old, I was curious about it."

"When I was 30 years old, I enjoyed it."

"When I was 40 years old, I asked for it."

"When I was 50 years old, I paid for it."

"When I was 60 years old, I prayed for it."

"When I was 70 years old, I forgot about it."

"And now that I'm 80, the damned things are growing wild!!"

HI ALL.........i am just thinking how many of you guys are meeting a host for the christmas holiday"s ......as for me i think i am going to be alone..would love to know if it work"s out ????????

okie dokie men--i meant that question was to be in your mind and not tell names on here---and yes i did tell one name--but she is cool
So this time--think in your mind and dream about---

military worriors
where are they?
iraq has 150.000
dmz demilitized zone has 30.000+/-
afganistan has how many? and
where are the rest?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/15863307/

Makes you wonder if the people there will ever see freedom from such brutality and barbaric actions..............

So how many of you are having your periods now. I heard that when you get a bunch of ladies in a community together, you all start to have your periods at the same time.
I'm the Spanish Wolf..woof...woof...

Hi Girls,
So do you like it now that I've grown my love zone into a wild patch of hot fur. It's pretty cool, I think!! Or did you like it better when it was silky smooth down by little Willard. Yeah let me know.

Tired of unsightly stains on your computer screen? Well now you can thump the monkey all day without worry. Try my great new invention the Spooge-Wiper Deluxe. It's a windshield wiper that works on your computer screen, and it has 3 speeds!!! Now you can really "enjoy" your favorite host without losing a moment to clean off your screen when your done.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! and a wonderfull holliday for all who celebrates it:)

Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson, and bragged that despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex 3 times a night.

Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued. After the show,
Cilla said, "Sean, if I'm not bein too forward, I'd luv to 'ave sex with
yer. Lets go back to my ouse, we could 'ave a lorra fun.

So they went back to her place. After a couple of drinks they went off
to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together.

Afterwards, Sean says, "If you think that was good, let me shleep for
half an hour, and we can have better shex. But while I'm shleeping, hold my balls in your left hand and ma willie in your right hand".
Cilla looks a bit perplexed,but says "Okay".

He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than before.

Then Sean says, "Cilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You'll have to......." "I know Sean. Yer want me to 'old onto yer bat 'n balls again. No problem hun".

Cilla complies with the routine. The results this time are absolutely
mind blowing.

Once it's all over, they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla
asks "Sean, tell me, dis 'oldin yer balls in one hand and yer willie in
de other - does it really stimulate yer dat much?"

Sean replies, "No, not at all Cilla, but the last time I shlept with a
scouser, she ran of with ma wallet !".

I'm Bringing Sexy Back!!!

Chuck11

I think I love you.

my favorite english words:
Rainbow, love, you, kinky, smile, dirty, rectum
Thank You for all of your wonderful words

Thank you my dear. I enjoyed your wet pussy so much I am thinking of getting one of my own.
Dex

A husband and his wife who have been married 20 years were doing some yard work. The man was working hard cleaning the BBQ grill while his wife was bending over, weeding flowers from the flower bed.

So the man says to his wife "Your rear end is almost as wide as this grill!" She ignores the remark.

Later that night while in bed, her husband starts to feel frisky. The wife calmly responds, "If you think I'm gonna fire up the grill for one little wiener, you are sadly mistaken."

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RUSSIAN cosmonaut Mikhail Tyurin was late for his tee time in space, but still managed to launch a super-lightweight golf ball into orbit – even if he shanked his shot, according to the Associated Press.

Tyurin hit the golf ball 77 minutes behind schedule yesterday after delays to fix an overheating spacesuit and a stuck exterior hatch.

Using a gold-plated six-iron and an American astronaut in the role of caddy-and-safety-holder, Tyurin hit the drive from a spring-like tee outside the international space station, 355 kilometers over the northwest Pacific Ocean. The shot, which veered a little to the right, kicked off a problem-plagued slightly shortened spacewalk.
http://www.shanghaidaily.com/art/2006/11/23/297907/What_a_shot_.htm

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Dogs don't cry (unless they have to pee).

Dogs love it when your friends come over.

Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.

Dogs think you sing great.

A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.

The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you

Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

Dogs are excited by rough play.

Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

Dogs understand that farts are funny.

Dogs love red meat.

Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

Anyone can get a good-looking dog.

If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

Dogs don't shop.

Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

A dog's parents never visit.

Dogs love long car trips.

Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.

Dogs like beer.

Dogs don't hate their bodies.

No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.

No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

Dogs never criticize.

Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

Dogs never expect gifts.

It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

Dogs don't worry about germs.

Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.

Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.

Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.

You never have to wait for a dog, they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

Dogs don't borrow your shirts.

Dogs never want foot-rubs.

Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

Dogs can't talk. Dogs aren't catty.

Dogs seldom outlive you.



HOW DOGS AND WOMEN ARE ALIKE

Both look stupid in hats.

Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting.

Both tend to have "hip" problems.

Neither understand football.

Both look good in a fur coat.

Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say.

Neither believe that silence is golden.

Both constantly want back rubs.

Neither can balance a check book.

You can never tell what either of them is thinking.

Both put too much value on kissing.



HOW WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN DOGS

It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with a woman.

Women look good in sweaters.

Women leave the room to fart.

Though they only have two, women's breasts are far more interesting.

hi sweet

i can squirt,but,guys,lil squirt.and it depends of health,not of me!!!!!!! i think u understand me.kisssss