General Forum

Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit...
Dave: - I reckon he's an accountant.
Stuart: - No way - he's a stockbroker.
Dave: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Dave and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder...
Dave: - 'Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?
Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession
Dave: - Oh! What's that then?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example ... Do you have a goldfish at home?
Dave: - Er... mmm... well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a
pond. Which is it?
Dave: - It's in a pond!
Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?
Dave: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden.
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a
large garden then you have a large house?
Dave: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house ... built it myself!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to
assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite
probably married?
Dave: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children..
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?
Dave: - Yep! Five times a week!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?
Dave: - Do what? Not me mate!
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Dave: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about
your sex life!
Dave: - I see! That's pretty impressive ... thanks mate!
Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate.
Stuart: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Dave: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Stuart: - What's that then?
Dave: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
Stuart: - Nope
Dave: - Well then, you're a wanker. :--)

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into the water, and he needed the axe to make his living. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "No." The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied, "No." The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.
Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?" "Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the river!" The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez. "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked. "Yes," cried the woodcutter. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, You would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife. Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given all three to me. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to Jennifer Lopez."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honourable reason, and for the benefit of others. :--)

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I am very surprised that so few hosts have sound. Some say they have it on their profile but don't in reality. One (who shall remain nameless) actually doesn't have on their profile but has. I also sometimes see a difference between the availability from "who is online" and the profile itself. This is something I like and I just don't get why nobody (almost) has. A microphone costs what... 5 bucks?

A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded rural area of the state he lived in. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon. He noticed a filmlike substance on his plate and he questioned his grandfather:
"Are these plates clean?" His grandfather replied, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal."
That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of his plate, and a substance that looked like dried egg yolks. So he asked again, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"
Without looking up from his hamburger, the grandfather says, "I told you before; those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't ask me about it anymore!"
Later that afternoon, he was on his way out to get dinner in a nearby town. As he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl and wouldn't let him pass so he said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me out."
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV his grandfather shouted: "Coldwater! Go lay down!" :--)

To all the Americans out there

Notice pupa in video playback charges $3.98 with no pictures in her archive! does anybody visit? maybe reckoning on the curious!

personally there area huge number of asian hosts here for $1.00 they vary but no real need to go above. And believe me I spend quite enough as it is. I like to spend time more than 10 mins, more like 30 so it soon mounts up. Better for a host to be busy than waiting for the few big wallets. A good host at a rr easonable price can be constantly on cam which I guess is how they like it, unless they are looking for Mr right:)

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John Daly... A puffin' Billy or a complete train wreck?

Duck walks into a bar asks the bartender "Got any grapes?"
Bartender says "No this is a bar why would we have grapes?"
Duck says hmmmm. turns around and walks out.
Duck comes into the bar next day and says"Got any grapes?"
Bartender sternly says "I told you yesterday we don't any grapes. Now get out of here"
Duck shrugs his shoulders turns and walks out.
Next day duck comes in again and says "Got any grapes?"
Bartender loses his cool and yells "I told you yesterday and the day before that we don't have any grapes. If you come in here again and ask for grapes I am going to nail your feet to the floor"
Duck says "Yikes" turns and walks out.
Next day duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender "Got any nails?"
Bartender says "no"
Duck says "Got any grapes?"

was in her textchat tonight and later she ran behind me in public chat, to chase me there.
she called me rude man, because I left her chat, after our talk was in a one-way-road. When asked, where she is from, she answered: "secret". her next question was, if i wanna join her vid, and i answered "secret", then we had some sentences going around, but all friendly, and I stopped that talk with the sentences: "I say poka now, because I want to know, what you want keep secret"
She didnt understand, and asked, why I leave, and I said because of secrecy.
2 minutes later, she came behind me, and called me a rude man. I asked her, to apologize, but she didnt.
I think, that is very bad behave.
I dont question her right, to not answer me a question, but it is my right, to leave for that, and I did all very friendly, i didnt convinc her or anything, I said good bye. To be called rude for normal respective and friendly behave, is, in my view, more than rude.

poka, bye

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St.. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on .... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!" :--)

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An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great.
I would recommend it very highly."
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man.
He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?" :--)

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Congratulating my home town soccer (footballers for everyone else) We won the MLS Cup..finally!

I recommend this girl. She get´s nude only in 1 to 1, but really worth the money!

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host or members
know what ever happened to her ?
hope she moved on and is doing well