General Forum

if you had one last video here, what would you do different from all of the other videos you had here?

Q: When is a man most intelligent, before, after or during sex?
A: During sex because he's plugged up to the knowledge source=:)


Who Enjoys Sex More A man and a woman were having drinks at a business conference when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?" "That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this: when your ear itches and you put your finger in it and wiggle it around, then pull it out, which feels better: your ear or your finger?"

A balding, white haired man from Chebacco Lake and Florida, walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, ‘No, I’d like to see something a little more special.’
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. ‘Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000 the jeweler said. The lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.
The old man seeing this said, ‘We’ll take it.’
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, ‘By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I’ll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.’
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said, ‘There’s no money in that account.’
‘I know,’ said the old man, ‘But let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!’

Two men, sentenced to die in the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which they would meet their maker.

The priest had given them last rites, the formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been said among the participants. The warden, turning to the first man, solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?"

To which the man replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play the Macarena for me one last time?"

"Certainly," replied the warden. He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?"

"Please," said the condemned man, "kill me first."

the label said concentrate.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."
"Oh, no need to explain
Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat".
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh, my word!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done rightPeople were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."

Mrs. Smith fainted

Hi

It seems I have upset a few girls with my attitude let me apologies if you are one of the girls I like things a certain way and I may have been over aggressive and I am sorry I hope we can be friends and enjoy cc.

Abdiel

Hi Guys n Girls
Can anyone tell me any hosts they know that like very hard sex because I love it I know it is not everybody's favorite so any hosts that willing let me know.

Thanks

Hi, I've just completed my half of the puzzle, anyone want to join with it?

Hello CC community, the name is shytony, to those who know me well its Anthony. Sadly I have to report that my grandfather is really sick. Really hard to say as I feel myself tearing up as I type this but will be passing soon:( For the time being, I'll be departing from here for some time to be by his side. Take care everyone and "keep it clean" while I'm away. Be back later on, so for now, I'm sending all my love for everyone here hosts and members.

"Till we meet again CC" from the shyone

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Want to do a session with cigar smokers

Hi there lovely slender neck ladies. Anybody with an amazing long neck and perfect collar bones. Are you into erotic neck play like sensual choking play?

hi to everyone!i need your opinions!what do u think about tatoo on womans body?if u like what is the best part of body to make it?waiting on your answers:)

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I picked up an old Russian phrase-book in a second-hand bookshop last week. It's from the days of the Soviet Union, and it shows - some of the phrases are hilarious! My favorite is "Where can I visit a permanent exhibition of the accomplishments of the peoples of the Soviet Union?" You know, any will do.

There's a travel guide to a fictional East European country called "Why come to Slaka?" which was full of similarly funny phrases. And of course the great advice "if you hear clicks during phone call, please remember our system is different!"

Ever found funny phrases like that?

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A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a toddler-aged girl in her shopping trolley. As they passed the biscuit section, the little girl asked for biscuits and her mother told her no. The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly: "Now Monica, we just have half of the aisles left to go through - don't be upset. It won't be long."

Soon, they came to the sweets aisle and the little girl began to shout for chocolate. When told she couldn't have any, she began to cry.

The mother said softly: "There, there, Monica, don't cry - only two more aisles to go and then we'll be checking out."

When they got to the checkout stand, the little girl immediately began to clamour for lollipops and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there'd be none purchased. The mother patiently said: "Monica, we'll be through this checkout stand in five minutes and then you can go home and have a nice nap."

The man was very impressed with the woman's handling of the situations and followed them out to the car park and stopped her to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Monica," he began.

The mother sighed and replied: "Oh, no. My little girl's name is Tammy ... I'm Monica."

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Where are Casablancka and mybeauty4u? Have not seen them online this contest..

so a guy was sitting at his second floor breakfast nook that looks out onto the roof of his house,and noticed a gorilla, sitting on his roof, under the shade of his walnut tree.so he took the yellow book(still in its protective,plastic wrapper) opened to the gees.and sure enough, there was a listing for" gorilla removers".
yeah, he called.30 minutes later,a beat up old ford pickup with a massive,rusty cage in the bed pulled up in front of his home.a grey haired,scruffy old man,and really mean,gnarly rottweiller exited the cab.upon collecting his substantial fee, the old guy explained the process of gorilla removal."im gonna lean a ladder to access your roof,climb up with a baseball bat,and knock the gorilla off. my dog is specially trained to latch onto the gorillas testicles,and that is usually enough to
subdue it till we get it into the cage on my truck.it sounded like a half a__ reasonable plan so the guy approved. the old dude left to get his tools.
a few minutes later the old dude and dog came up to him,carrying a louisville slugger,a extension ladder,and a shotgun.the oldman leaned the ladder against the house,put the bat on his shoulder,and handed me the shotgun.not understanding and slightly baffled i asked,what is the gun for,u didnt say anything about a gun.
the old man looked me dead in the eye with the most serious gaze i have ever encountered.and said.if by chance something should go wrong and the gorilla knocks me off the roof instead.SHOOT THE DOG.

After last session you received 41 pieces: click here to view puzzle pieces. And out of them only 4 new. My luck is out of order i guess LOL

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