General Forum
Earth to Mars
A Martian couple and an Earthling couple have met and are talking about all sorts of things. Finally, the subject of sex comes up. "Just how do you guys do it?" asked the Earthling. "Pretty much the way you do," responded the Martian. Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another. The female Earthling and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got only a teeny, weeny member; very short and very narrow. "What can you do with THAT!?" exclaims the woman. "Why?" he asked, "What's the matter?" "Well," she replied, "it's nowhere near long enough. It'll never reach!" "No problem," he said and proceeded to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grew until it was quite impressively long. "Well," she said. "That's quite impressive, but it's still pretty narrow." "No problem," he said again and started pulling his ears. With each pull his member grew wider and wider until the entire measurement was extremely exciting to the woman. "Wow!" she exclaimed as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love. The next day the couples rejoined their normal partners and went off together. As they walked along the Earthling male said, "Well, was it any good?" "I hate to say it," she said, "but it was really wonderful. How about you?" "Well," he said, "It was the weirdest thing. She kept slapping me on the forehead and pulling my ears all nig
RE: Wrong Number
Hello? Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is mommy near the phone? No, daddy. Shes upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul. After a brief pause, daddy say but honey you dont have an Uncle Paul. Oh yes I do, & hes upstairs in the room with mommy right now. Brief pause. Uh ok then I want you to put the phone down & run upstairs & knock on the door & shout to mommy that daddys car just pulled up. Ok daddy just a min. A few min later the lil girl comes back to the phone. I did it daddy. And what happened honey? Well mommy got scared, jumped outta bed naked & ran round screamin then tripped on the rug, hit her head on the dresser & now she isnt movin at all! OMG!!! What bout your uncle paul? He jumped outta the back window into the pool. But I guess he didnt know you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of it & I think hes dead! Real long pause! Then daddy says, Swimmin pool? Is this 486-5732? Lil girl says No I think you have the wrong number
RE: Bananas
nah, don't think so AngelinR, but read this one........A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly said: "That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair." the girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister: "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister smiled and said: "That’s nothing, mine is already eating bananas."
Sign Confused
Dear Friend
I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month.
My fiancee's mother is not only very attractive but really great and
understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited
me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a
bit beyond what we had expected it to be. When I got to her place, we
reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred... then
she floored me. She said that in a month I would be a married man and
that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me.
Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said
that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave. I stood
there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly
how to deal with this situation.
I headed straight out the front door...............
There, leaning against my car, was her husband, my father-in-law to be.
He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a
good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and
he congratulated me on passing their little test. My Friend, should I tell
my fiancee what her parents did, and that I thought their "little test"
was asinine and insulting to my character?
Or should I keep the whole thing to myself, including the fact that the
reason I was walking out to my car was to get a condom?
Signed,
Confused
I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month.
My fiancee's mother is not only very attractive but really great and
understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited
me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a
bit beyond what we had expected it to be. When I got to her place, we
reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred... then
she floored me. She said that in a month I would be a married man and
that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me.
Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said
that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave. I stood
there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly
how to deal with this situation.
I headed straight out the front door...............
There, leaning against my car, was her husband, my father-in-law to be.
He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a
good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and
he congratulated me on passing their little test. My Friend, should I tell
my fiancee what her parents did, and that I thought their "little test"
was asinine and insulting to my character?
Or should I keep the whole thing to myself, including the fact that the
reason I was walking out to my car was to get a condom?
Signed,
Confused
RE: **LovelyDana**
wow, i open the forum and first thing i see was my name there . My thought : wtf ive done now??! lol... u welcome Annuex , X, hugs!!!
The Beach
Our first day at a resort my wife and I decided to hit the beach. When I went back to our room to get something to drink, one of the hotel maids was making our bed. I grabbed my cooler and was on my way out when I paused and asked, "Can we drink beer on the beach?" "Sure," she said, "but I have to finish the rest of the rooms beforehand."
RE: The Beach
Love that, similar for me maybe. Hotel in Portugal. Finished my presentation to clients. Went to indoor pool. 2 maids watching me. Went back to my room, knock on door, one of the maids, "May I make your bed?" Sure.
She smiled at me all the time, then left.
Few moments later, 2 maid at the door, "May I make you bed?"
Sure.
She the same, lots of smiling at me.
She left wit me thinking, "What was that all about?"
She smiled at me all the time, then left.
Few moments later, 2 maid at the door, "May I make you bed?"
Sure.
She the same, lots of smiling at me.
She left wit me thinking, "What was that all about?"
Living my life under the rule of Godess Ishtar
I am moved at this time to bear witness to the life-changing effect of becoming a worshipper and slave to the most divine Goddess Ishtar. In the years since I first met the Goddess, I have been transformed. Where I was once afraid and insecure in my perversion, I am now confident that my deviancy is permitted and can be relished, so long as she says so. Where I once hid my sexuality, I now proudly display it in her name. She gave me the courage and permission to explore things I had never dared before, sucking cock, taking the fist, pushing my boundaries. The Goddess has empowered me to become a more whole person, by placing myself and my fate in her hands. It is for this reason I bear witness, for this reason I have been tattooed with her insignia as one of her Chosen.
Happy Birthday Clau :)))))
Sisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss....
Happppyyyyy Birthdayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wishing you a year full of happiness, joy, prosperity and peace. Get naughty once a while and keep the devil inside you alive :)
Hope you have tonnes of warm memories with your family and friends.
warm hugs and kisses
Bro :)
Happppyyyyy Birthdayyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wishing you a year full of happiness, joy, prosperity and peace. Get naughty once a while and keep the devil inside you alive :)
Hope you have tonnes of warm memories with your family and friends.
warm hugs and kisses
Bro :)
RE: Happy Birthday Clau :)))))
Happy Birthday "Claudia" and many many more to a beautiful and wonderful woman. Here a song for you- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Xpeami317s
RE: I am a lurker on here but for the guy that we need to act like on first date....
well I couldnt help but notice that most guys dont come here to bond with da girls :)) and make friends :))
RE: I am a lurker on here but for the guy that we need to act like on first date....
But some of us do :)
RE: I am a lurker on here but for the guy that we need to act like on first date....
U cant choose ur dick size...i know a few guys that if they could they would most definitely do some upgrading...also i would like blue eyes and blond hair but again ..not really a choice ...however the way you present yourself is a choice so your parallel lacks sense..you are comparing things that cannot be changed with the fact that you are being to lazy to take care of yourself..This is a paid service , it's like a job..u wouldn't go to a job in pijamas would you?
RE: I am a lurker on here but for the guy that we need to act like on first date....
:) yes i agree u should look nice on cam etc...but on numerous occasions, some members asked me: u just woke up? Me: yes. They : wow, u wear lipstick and a black dress at 7 am ! U surely are vain :)))))... Hmmm...So even if they " know" this is our job, they wanna ignore it. Even if they pay per min , they wanna feel like at first date. Oh well...Ofc i wont tell them no guy i ever dated showed me his willy at first date , or asked me to be topless , etc :))) . So yeah , its a complicated topic, but i guess everyone can find what they are looking for on CC, both members and hosts.
RE: Pink Panther's To Do list:
oh yeah, especially when I sing in the shower))) poor neighbors)))
RE: Pink Panther's To Do list:
You've got more disguises than the Pink Panther, that's for sure! : O
RE: J.....
Beautiful girls Sean ! them all urs?mmmmm Sexy !but want show u one mine..... )))
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvjT343OKpQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvjT343OKpQ
Anyone else notice . . .
that SCOTUS, with a few minor changes, can be SCROTUM?
Now if I could just think of a couple of appropriate words for the R and the M
Now if I could just think of a couple of appropriate words for the R and the M
RE: Community
Yes. Just when I was about to make some totally meaningliess and poorlly thought out reply to an ongoing discussion I got cut off. Ofc at this point in time I have no idea what we were discussing. Sometimes these things work out...:)
RE: Community
I had just made a sarcastic remark to Pete when i was disconnected, dammit! I had 3 more lined up to go, too! :)
Happy Birthday My Lady (Amira Joy)
It is said that whatever you give a woman, she will make it better. Give her a house, she'll make it a home. Give her groceries, she'll make it a meal; I gave a women my time, she returned the favor with a family. Very true indeed :)
Today is a special day in the life of that woman. So, let me try to borrow a few seconds in your busy life and schedule sweetheart, to slow down time just enough to show you, how u mean the world to me and to wish you on your birthday.
let the warmth in your heart light your path; the love in your eyes fill your sceneries; the grit of your mind take you beyond your dreams; this has been my sincere prayer for you in the past and present. Wishing you the same prayer over again.
Happy Birthday once again. May the sun shine bright on you today and forever! Hope you have a good day with lots of warm moments and memories from those who matter to you and those for whom you matter the most.
Always and Forever,
Prasanna.
Today is a special day in the life of that woman. So, let me try to borrow a few seconds in your busy life and schedule sweetheart, to slow down time just enough to show you, how u mean the world to me and to wish you on your birthday.
let the warmth in your heart light your path; the love in your eyes fill your sceneries; the grit of your mind take you beyond your dreams; this has been my sincere prayer for you in the past and present. Wishing you the same prayer over again.
Happy Birthday once again. May the sun shine bright on you today and forever! Hope you have a good day with lots of warm moments and memories from those who matter to you and those for whom you matter the most.
Always and Forever,
Prasanna.
RE: Happy Birthday My Lady (Amira Joy)
Happy Birthday Amy!!! Wishing you a day filled with happiness and a year filled with JOY :))) ♥♥♥ miss you girl :*